My husband is so bald that when you look at him from a distance, it looks like his neck is blowing bubblegum.
Category Archives: (C) Misandry Jokes
Joke #13188
To a father, a new baby is an addition to his family and a deduction on his income tax.
Joke #13184
My wife wouldn’t agree to us having adjoining funeral plots. She says that knowing the way I sleep, I’d probably hog all the sod.
Joke #13171
LITTLE TEDDY: “What is your father doing?”
LITTLE EDDY: “According to my mother, as little as possible.”
Joke #13166
My husband isn’t too bright. He thinks that in order to make wine, you have to milk the grapes.
Joke #13164
My husband is so modest, he swears his birthday suit came with two pairs of trousers and a vest.
Joke #12883
A gal looked her blind date up and down and said, “I’d like you better if you were tall, dark and handsome.”
The blind date looked her up and down and replied, “If I were tall, dark and handsome, I wouldn’t be out with you!”
Joke #12840
A sports nut is someone who’s married to the TV set during the baseball, football and basketball seasons and married to a wife the rest of the time.
Joke #12829
WIFE: “You play golf every weekend and I’m getting tired of it. If you spent a whole weekend home with me, I think I’d drop dead!”
MAN: “Stop trying to bribe me!”
Joke #12771
BACHELOR: “Listen, baby, you’ve got to admit that guys like me don’t grow on trees.”
GIRL: “No, they swing from them!”
Joke #12743
My husband is killing himself trying to keep up with the Joneses. They’re joggers.
Joke #12739
JUDY: “My boyfriend is a leader of men.”
KATE: “You’re lucky. Mine is a follower of women.”
Joke #12713
My boyfriend has gone around with more women than a revolving door in a beauty salon.
Joke #12487
TEDDY: “Will you marry me, my darling?”
TINA: “I’m not sure. You’ve been married five times and I’ve heard some nasty stories about you.”
TEDDY: “Don’t believe any of them. Those stores are nothing, but old wives’ tales.”
Joke #12426
“Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
“Simple. I married the wrong person.”