Q: What do you call a Mongol warlord who impales his victims and then sells them?
A: Vlad the Retailer.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #10984
Q: What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
A: Pork rinds.
Joke #10983
Q: What’s the theme song at the organ donor clinic?
A: “Liver Let Die.”
Joke #10982
Q: Why do burn victims hate hospital food?
A: It makes their skin crawl.
Joke #10981
Q: What do you get when you put infected feet inside a pair of Doc Martens?
A: Pus in boots.
Joke #10980
Q: What’s the theme song from Aliens?
A: “I’ve Got You Under My Skin.”
Joke #10979
Q: What do you call an infected animal with beady eyes who comes out only at night?
A: An opussum.
Joke #10978
Q: Do people really believe the myth that if they kiss a frog, it will turn into a prince?
A: No, they just pay it lip service.
Joke #10977
Q: Why should teenagers consult a doctor before touching their pimples?
A: Improper treatment can lead to infections; besides nobody likes it when you pop them on the bathroom mirror.
Joke #10976
Q: What do you call a redneck with indigestion?
A: A hick-up.
Joke #10975
Q: Why should you never sneeze on someone’s school lunch?
A: The kid may start liking school lunches.
Joke #10974
Q: What do you get when you cross a careless guillotine operator with a bank robber?
A: A one-armed bandit.
Joke #10973
Q: Why should you never sneeze on someone’s bag lunch?
A: How are they going to trade it after you’ve sneezed on it?
Joke #10972
Q: Why do doctors study bad skin disorders before prescribing medicine?
A: They don’t want to be rash.
Joke #10971
Q: On “Gilligan’s Island,” what did the castaways do when they ran out of seasoning?
A: They used Ginger.