Nothing about that young hoodlum is straight. Even his shadow is crooked.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #13237
Crook with a gun to garage owner: “I expect about a thousand bucks and that’s just an estimate, Mac.”
Joke #13236
JUDGE: “Why did you hit your wife with a baseball bat, Mr. Tupper?”
TUPPER: “Because I couldn’t find my hockey stick.”
Joke #13235
Did you hear about the prisoners who dug a tunnel under the prison wall? The tunnel was so good, they put a toll booth in it.
Joke #13234
I read in the newspaper about a French cat burglar who’s doing great. So far, he’s gotten away with twenty-five cats.
Joke #13233
LAWYER: “Where were you on the night of December 24th?”
DEFENDANT: “Up at the North Pole helping Santa Claus.”
Joke #13232
PRISONER 2369076: “You mean to say you’re in jail because you’re very sentimental?”
PRISONER 7230964: “Yep! I put my wife’s picture on the 10-dollar bills I was making.”
Joke #13231
JUDGE: “Mr. Jonas, after hearing all the evidence in the divorce case, I think we should give your wife two hundred dollars a week.”
MR. JONAS: “That’s nice of you. I’ll chip in five bucks.”
Joke #13230
PATIENT: “Doctor, my hearing is very bad.”
DOCTOR (shouting): “Do your ears ring?”
PATIENT: “Huh?”
DOCTOR (shouting): “Do your ears ring?”
PATIENT: “Huh?”
DOCTOR (under his breath): “Boy, is this guy stupid!”
PATIENT: “I heard that!”
Joke #13229
At long last we’ve found the answer to the question. “What’s up, Doc?” It’s malpractice insurance rates.
Joke #13228
“He started out as a dentist, but later he became a world famous brain surgeon.”
“How did he make such a big change?”
“His drill slipped.”
Joke #13227
When the price of medical services being sky high, the only people who can afford to be hypochondriacs are millionaires.
Joke #13226
There’s a famous epitaph on the tombstone of the chronic patient. It reads: “I told you I was really sick!”
Joke #13225
Did you hear about the nearsighted dentist who tried to pull a patient’s tooth and ended up removing his tonsils?
Joke #13224
“Nurse, boil the surgical instruments.”
“Ah gee, doctor, just as a change of pace can’t we roast them today?”