High Ho Diggity

a room. there are two men. one man (barney) is wearing a black trenchcoat. the other (billy joe bob bobert francisca fregadero sardine the 6th) is a very fat man wearing pink spandex.

billy joe: i want youto do this thingfor me. it is very important to my family.

barney: yeah, i see what i can do.

billy joe: you must! i die if this doesnt go well!!

barney: yeah, well, them’s the breaks.

billy joe: i die! don’t you see??

barney: gotta die sometime.

billy joe: but i’m only 10!

barney: yeah, but you gotta be at least 300 pounds!

billy joe: look, i’m payin you to do this, so just do it!

barney: fine.

alleyway. dark. barneyis singing a song he just made up.

barney: dum de dum dum. jus waitin for da guy i’m gonna KILLLLLLL with my flamethroWAH… (a pause) nah nah nah… (a pause) i’m hungry…

a guy walks bythe alley. he’s really old and fat.

barney: not so fast there victim!

guy: what?

barney: dieeeee!!! (uses flamethrower to kill the guy) yay, now i can go get my money!

back in the first room.

barney: ok i’m done, gimme my money!

billy joe: what are you talking about? and where have you been? you said you had to go to the bathroom.

barney:well, anyway, i still killed an old fat guy, so i want my money.

billy joe: what?

barney: the mission.

billy joe: i told you to open this can of beans!

barney: ……..so……..?

billy joe: argh, i crapped my pants.

barney: really? ewwww!! why?

billy joe: it’ something i do when i’m very angry.

barney: and you’re fat!

billy ooe: what does that have to do with anyth–

billy joe is cut off by barney’s flame thrower, which barney was using on billy joe. this is why billy joe stopped talking in the middle of a word.

stimpyismyname: im not done with this one….

(but who knows if it’ll actually get finished…?)

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