Crusty French Bread

Pierre: ello. I am Pierre, le lumberjack! Unt I loveeee Crusty French Bread.


Announcer: yes, you heard it from Pierre the Lumberjack, folks! Crusty French Bread is good. He’s French for cryin’ out loud!


Pierre: unt it is so healthy for you, it should be called “I can’t believe it’s not bread!”


Announcer: actually, its not bread


Pierre: Vat!? Vat is this?


Announcer: its actually made out of soy! You’ll be amazed what soy can be made into these days! From cardboard to mustard to xylophones! And you can’t tell the difference!


Pierre: vat da hell!? This makes me mad!


(Pierre starts his chainsaw)


Pierre: can’t you see that soy tastes like ass!? Hot dogs shouldn’t taste like soy, nor chicken nuggets which are made of soy!


Announcer: don’t get mad at me! Get mad at SoyCo! They made all that tasteless crap that makes you wanna barf!


Pierre: grrarrrh!


(Pierre waves his chainsaw in the air)


Pierre: dieee, SoyCo!


(Pierre stops waving his chainsaw, then takes a big bite out of the Crusty French Bread)


Pierre: now that I know its soy, you can obviously taste it! What a piece of shit!


Announcer: yes you can, Pierre, yes you can


Pierre: I can also taste your MOM in it


Announcer: what the hell? You shithead!


(Pierre and Announcer bitchslap fight)


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