Suck Up Letter

Ok, there’s a little back story to this.  Over Christmas Vacation in December 2002, 6 computers and 2 printers were stolen from our Media Arts class, a film making class.  The only thing they left were 5 mouse pads.  They took one of the mouse pads for some reason.  Without computers, we can’t do shit in the class, so they were stolen, and a big deal was made out of it.  There’s a school article about it, and maybe one day i’ll get around to putting that bullshit up.  Anyway, these 2 people heard about our “misfortune” and decided to get 6 IBM computers for us.  Low and behold, the old computers were found, and we didn’t get them back until March 2003, but 4 of them had no hard drives and no RAM in them, which was hilarious.  So then Mr. Pillips, our Media Arts teacher, wrote this stupid suck up letter that i found on one of the computers.  Its such bullshit, that i decided to put it up.


Dear Joe and Anita,

We can’t thank you enough for your generous and thoughtful donation of the IBM computers to our Media Arts class. You helped us to avoid a potentially disastrous situation. Now, we can allow more students to work on the computers and fully experience what the Media Arts class has to offer. The kids are able to learn and master Adobe Premiere non-linear editing and several special effects programs. With the Foothill Film Festival around the corner, the computers couldn’t have come at a better time. Last year at the Festival, we had students take first place in two events. The Media Arts students are working furiously on their movies so that they too can compete for an award. The computers you donated are helping these students reach their goal. The students all wish to thank you for this unbelievable donation. This class could not have continued without you. Thank you so much!

With great appreciation,

Mr. Pillips and his Media Arts classes


first of all, he uses all these terms that these people probably won’t even understand, and won’t even CARE about.  the absolutely corniest part of this was this quote: “The Media Arts students are working furiously on their movies.”

i mean, fuckin COME ON, this is such a horrible letter, and you can tell that its all COMPLETE bullshit.  Ok i’m done.

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