Holmes:

ok basically this started with a friend online telling me she got a random IM from someone who asked her for help on a t.v. show. I told her to tell the guy who needed help my screen name…and so, here we are!!!!!!!

———

Sprivenx: hi

Sprivenx: somone said u can help me

Holmes: sure i’ll help, i’m the most helpful guy you’ll ever meet

Sprivenx: Invader Zim is going off the air and i need help so u can put it back on the air or somthing!

Holmes: ok

Holmes: i can do that

Sprivenx: how?

Sprivenx: Arts and Entertainment – Protest Invader Zim

Holmes: i have….lets say….connections

Sprivenx: asl

Holmes: 43/m/Arizona

Sprivenx: can u do that?

Holmes: my connections are universal…i’m a very…well known person

Holmes: in the secret respect

Sprivenx: Yaaay!

Sprivenx: so how can u put it back on the air?

Holmes: when i tell someone to jump, they ask “how high”

Holmes: well i’ll have my people go and meet the people of invader zim

Sprivenx: They were gonna make more episodes of IZ

Holmes: this conversation will involve the use of bloody knuckles and threats…

Sprivenx: But nick said No:(

Holmes: thats terrible

Sprivenx: that show made me who i am today!

Holmes: invader zim is almost like a classic

Sprivenx: you have to help me!

Holmes: wow

Holmes: really?

Sprivenx: yes!!

Sprivenx: [ grabs holems by the cloak and falls ]: plz help me and my friends!

Sprivenx: holms*

Sprivenx: holmes*

Holmes: some people would call you a looser or a stupid ass, but not me…i call you a hero

Sprivenx: stupid ass?

Sprivenx: why the hell why?

Holmes: i don’t know

Holmes: people are wierd todat

Holmes: today*

Sprivenx: i know

Holmes: i mean some people pretend that they are someone like me, big and important, over the internet…can you believe that

Holmes: anyways were jumping off topic

Sprivenx: so how long would this process take?

Holmes: oh not long, i mean if you threaten to cut off someone’s…”jewels” they tend to jump 10 feet higher, run 10 mph faster and do things 10 times better

Sprivenx: lol

Sprivenx: wow

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: trust me

Holmes: i would know

Holmes: but, in return you must do a favor for me when i call upon you again

Sprivenx: waht?

Holmes: nevermind

Holmes: when the time comes, we will discuss it

Sprivenx: Just tell me!

Holmes: well, in todays common world, when one does one a favor, they usually do a favor in return, if you understand my kabowlee’s

Sprivenx: like….waht?

Holmes: don’t worry about the word kabowlee’s, it’s just a fancy word us people use to sound big anfd important

Holmes: well, right now a favor i plan on asking is non-existant, that is why i will discuss it with you at a later time

Sprivenx: Ok…?

Holmes: i may be using words you do not understand yet

Holmes: so i will put it plain and simple

Sprivenx: im only 12

Holmes: oh

Holmes: i honestly couldn’t tell

Holmes: you sound so mature for your age

Sprivenx: i do?

Holmes: you maybe be 12 on the outside, but your brain tells me you have the intelligence of a 20 year old

Sprivenx: im usually like this when somthing like this happens

Holmes: i can understand your pain…invader zim is just…so….wghats the word you yougin’s use? “radical”?

Sprivenx: Huh?

Holmes: nevermind

Sprivenx: i never say “Radical”

Holmes: oh

Sprivenx: thats retarded

Holmes: i was informed…i mean told…that “radical” was the word of the day for the cool people…my mistake

Sprivenx: kinda

Sprivenx: but not fer me

Holmes: oh it’s ok, you don’t have to be cool if you don’t want to…kids fail to realize that being cool is a decision

Sprivenx: im not that kinda “Cool”

Holmes: ahh i see…

Holmes: when i was young i was considered cool

Sprivenx: so what r u gonna do now?

Holmes: well i’m going to call my…”family” member Bubba “Wanker” Jones and he will call Rex “Massacre” Mahoney and he will call Johnny “Hooligan” Hooligan and they will mastricate the ferdidions at the production center when they produce “Invader Zim”

Holmes: in simple terms

Holmes: we will fix the problem

Sprivenx: kewl

Sprivenx: so waht do u want from me?

Sprivenx: just tell me

Holmes: I don’t know yet, sonny

Sprivenx: your freakin me out here

Sprivenx: i dont know u

Holmes: listen kid, relax

Holmes: are you relaxed?

Holmes: RELAX!!!!!

Sprivenx: no not really

Sprivenx: sheesh calm down

Holmes: I’M ALWAYS CALM!!!!!!!

Sprivenx: it sure doesnt look it

Holmes: oh silly me i left the caps on

Holmes: you know cap lock

Sprivenx: YES

Sprivenx: I THINK SO

Sprivenx: i dunno maybe i can

Holmes: hey…don’t forget who your talking to…don’t EVER yell at me!

Sprivenx: i wasnt yelling

Holmes: oh

Sprivenx: SEE?

Holmes: i see

Holmes: i see you writing see

Sprivenx: IF I WERE YELLING I WOULD HAVE EXCLAMATION PTS

Sprivenx: but i dont

Holmes: oh an important listen in the typing science

Holmes: lesson*

Holmes: anyways

Holmes: I will contact you in due time to let you know the progress of this action

Holmes: in short terms

Holmes: bye, i’ll talk to you later

Sprivenx: bye

Holmes: sily me, we never say bye in our organization, we say kilimop, it’s a word used to say see you later

Holmes: so KILIMOP!

Sprivenx: Ok?

Sprivenx: Kilimop

Holmes: kilimop

Sprivenx: whatever that is

Holmes: listen kid i already told you, don’t make me repeat myself

Holmes: so kilimop

Sprivenx: ok….

Sprivenx: kilimop

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