A football scout returned from the hills of Kentucky and told his boss, “I found a kid up there who is six feet, nine inches tall and weighs four hundred pounds.  He has hands like hams and a neck size of thirty inches.”

The college coach jumped up from behind his desk and shouted, “He sounds like what the team needs.  Bring him in.”

“I can’t,” said the scout.  “His chain only reaches ten feet.”