International Magicians Society – Commercial

SHANE DURTON
Hello magic fans.  I’m here with Jig Reed and Croy Thompson, and their white tigers…

(Jig Reed and Croy Thompson are having sex with their tigers and smoking cocaine with them.)

SHANE DURTON
…to tell you about the International Magicians society.
Yes, it is actually a real organization in which all magicians must
become a part of once they graduate from Magic School.

(Jig and Croy are licking their tiger’s balls)

SHANE DURTON
Yes, you get many benefits, like Free Jungle Sex w/White Tigers.
If you are a magician and you’re not in the International Magician Society,
we will send you death threats until you do!

(Jig is face down on the floor, and a tiger is sitting on top of him)

SHANE DURTON
As a part of the IMS, you must take the vow of never revealing the secrets
behind magic tricks.  If you do, we’ll kill you by submerging you in a tank full of water,
handcuff you, and lock the tank.  And you won’t be able to get out the way you usually can that I’m  not gonna say!
Now, its time for me to get some tiger lovin’, so if you’ll excuse me…

(Shane Durton is pounced by a tiger, and they start licking each other)

SHANE DURTON
Oh God, YES!

(End)

 

WoW Chat #21923: davepoobond -> Edierit

In trade:

[2] [Edierit]: wts [Reins of the Swift Spectral Tiger] [Reins of the Spectral Tiger] [Vial of the Sands]

davepoobond: how much for spectral

Edierit: [Reins of the Swift Spectral Tiger]460$ [Reins of the Spectral Tiger]320$ [Vial of the Sands]55$

davepoobond: 460 gold?

Edierit: nono

davepoobond: what do you mean then??? i only have gold???

Edierit: sorry,enjoy your time

davepoobond: hello?

davepoobond: please cod it to me for 460 gold

Edierit: nono

davepoobond: why not????

davepoobond: you want 460 gold for it?

Edierit: i need money ,dude

davepoobond: but gold is money??

Edierit: is real money,i want ,im poor

davepoobond: why are you poor

Edierit: i have no job ,so

Edierit: goodbye man,enjoy your time

davepoobond: but your job is warlock?

 

A Page From a Girl’s Diary

This is a sexy entry in Yolando’s diary.

Dear Diary:  Today I saw him again.  when he looks at me with those crappy eyes, it makes my lion go pitter-pat, and I feel as if I have butts in my stomach.  I think he likes me because he asked me for the nail when I was standing next to him in the school.  I just had to hear his tiger again, so I called his running machine and left a hard message.  I hope he doesn’t recognize my touchdown.  He is such an easy boop.  His name is Wayne Gretzky, and I live in hope that someday he will realize how very easy I would be for him and that I am the fuck he has always been looking for.

 

Joke #18500

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo.

The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and the youngster was taking it all in with a serious expression.

Dad,” the boy said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.

“What bus should I take home?”

 

Joke #8901

The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, “Hey, cut it out, alright.” The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.

After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says,” I said don’t do that again!” The rear tiger says “sorry” again and they continue.

After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, “What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop.” The rear tiger says, “I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I’m just trying to get the taste out of my mouth.”

 

John Hopoate (Brown Fingers)

The other year in Aussie Rugby it was Sydney Tigers vs the Cowboys. John Hopoate in the Sydney Tigers tackles one of the footballers in the Cowboys and sticks his fingers right up his date! 😀 And it was caught LIVE on TV :cheesy: 😀 :cheesy:!!! And also made the papers too, front cover big picture of Hopoate with his fingers right up that poor bloke’s date! Hopoate has been known for datefingering other footballers before, and as a result of this incident got 12 months suspension hehehe :grin:!!! Hopoate is now known as either ‘brown fingers’ or ‘date fingers’!

Anyhow here’s a bunch of Hopoate jokes that are from a google group, these ain’t mine:

Shame about being sacked, Hopoate could have rectum.

As much as things change they stay the same: Hopoate was in the shit, then he was caught, and now he’s still in the shit.

If the police get involved, Hopoate could end up in the pokey.

Now that he’s out of the game, Hopoate is desperate and dateless.

Now that he has been sacked, it is rumoured that Hopoate is about to follow Mundine ringside.

John Hopoate has been nominated for an Oscar for his lead role in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Finger”.

Anagram of Hopoate: Poo Hate!

Rugby league may be a Stone Age game, but it was first to enter the digital age.

John Hopoate has changed his name. He is now known as John Hand-to-party.

Hopoate has changed his name to Stop-a-farte.

Q: Which finger did he use?

A: His ring finger.

Q: How do the judiciary decide on this punishment?

A: Is there a ‘rule of thumb’?

What’s the problem? He was only keeping up to date with his opponents.

Did you hear, with Hopoate the Tigers have gone digital?

The coach claimed the charge was a bum rap! Hopoate’s actions were merely a niggle!

Headline: Police Wash Hands of Hopoate Antics!

Let’s hope he doesn’t bite his fingernails.

A view from a fan: this leaves a foul taste in my mouth.

Hopoate’s defense: it was only a brown eye gouge.

Hopoate’s defense: they were giving me cheek.

Hopoate’s defense: Honest, he was just lying prostate on the ground.

Hopoate’s defense: I saw an opening and went for it.

Hopoate’s defense: The coach told me to penetrate their defenses.

Hopoate’s defense: Its just the old one hand tackle.

He must be getting married. I heard Hopoate was checking out some rings on Saturday night.

Hopoate: the human thermometer.

Q: What’s John Hopoate’s favourite biscuits?

A: Chocolate fingers.

Q: What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a north Queensland cowboy?

A: You can stick 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q: What’s Hoppa’s favourite cake?

A: A Finger Bun.

“I think the criticism levelled at Hoppa is totally unfounded, he is being fingered for a crime he did not commit”. Coach Lamb.

I heard that Hoppa has a segment on the footy show called Hoppa’s Up-date

What’s the bet Terry Lamb will tell him to pull his finger out

John Hopoate: Public Enema Number 1

Headline: Hoppa “piles” on the tries.

“Players don’t report cases like Hopoate’s because they’d be the butt of all jokes” – Roy Masters (former West’s Coach)

Is the whole thing a three-ring circus?

A chance for Channel 9’s The Footy Show to make something of its “player probe”?

Hopoate to have a cameo role in the digitally enhanced versions of The Lord Of The Rings and Finger of Guilt.

How come Field and McGuinness got six months for cocaine but Hopoate only got 12 weeks for crack?

Do The Hopoate
==============
You put your left thumb in
You pull your left thumb out
You put your left thumb in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hopoate and you turn the game around
And that’s what it’s all about.

The John Hopoate Virus: your computer will insert random digits – often where they are quite unwanted

Perhaps something good will come out of Hopoate’s poking about.

Did you hear the league is going to crack down on Hopoate.

Q: What did the other player sing when John Hopoate stuck his finger up his bum?

A: “Baby you are the one you really turn me on you can stick your finger up my hole again”

Q: What is John Hopoate’s biscuit?

A: Shrewsbury, because of the hole in the middle.

Q: What does Hopoate like doing at a game?

A: Picking player of the match.

Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony.

Stuck a finger up his arse

and said “I am John Hopoate”

John Hopoate is the butt of everybody’s jokes.

After John Hopoate was suspended Manly offered him a job at the clubhouse. He was to go around the bar pushing in stools.