Snack Invasion (PC/Web) Review

Developer: FritoLay

Play it here: http://squackle.com/?p=8211

  Snack Invasion (PC/Web) (173.3 KiB, 652 hits)

Game by FritoLay

Overview:

Snack Invasion is a (not so) fun little game in which you have to click on aliens who came 6,000 light years to steal your Lays, Fritos, Ruffles, Funyuns, Cheetoes, and Doritos. One would wonder why they would do that, when they can just go to any one of the 7 11s, rob the store with their alien laser guns, and get a Grapermelon Slushee while they’re at it. I don’t get it.

Graphics:

The graphics are fine…I really like the bags. They look so realistic. Oh wait, they’re just cropped out.

Sound:

HORRIBLE, AND UN-NEEDED. I don’t need stupid sound effects of chip bags popping out of the strange landscape they call your home. And the annoying “woo woo woo”s of the aliens doesn’t help either. The only good thing is how the aliens make a big explosion sound when they die. Oh wait. THEY DON’T. ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS GO “POOF.” MILLIONS OF YEARS OF TECHNOLOGY AND ALL THEY CAN MAKE THEIR FLYING SAUCERS DO IS GO “POOF” and suck up bags of fucking chips made by a stupid company! You’d at least THINK they’d make themselves not be gay, and make their ships go “KABOOM,” but NOoooooOoooOOOoooo………

Gameplay:

Point, Click, Suck, Dick

Crappiest part:

The web site it is on. Let’s face it. No one goes to eploids.com. As soon as I put this review up, their servers will be overloaded with the less than 3 people that will actually click on the fucking link to go to their site.

Overall Score:

Snack Invasion blows. 2/10.

Play it here: http://squackle.com/?p=8211

  Snack Invasion (PC/Web) (173.3 KiB, 652 hits)

Game by FritoLay

 

Slick Spike (PC) Review

Developer: 2Slick Productions

  Slick Spike (PC) (1.5 MiB, 486 hits)

Game by 2Slick Productions, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This is what PacMan would do if he wanted money…instead of pebbles…and no ghost things….or a wife

Graphics:

The graphics aren’t anything more than a few angles for the main character and the enemies….i can’t even figure out what the enemies are half the time. The only one i recognize to be anything is a pair of eyeballs…this is what Slick Spike looks like:

Sound:

The music is ok. It IS kinda strange though…nothing too interesting to listen to though, because of the frustration that comes with trying to figure out the puzzles in the game.

Gameplay:

The gameplay actually gets increasingly hard, I only made it to level 4, but as you go on with levels, it makes you do puzzles that you did before, and combining it with new puzzles in different ways, so it makes you try to figure out what to do all the time. Supposedly there is 40 levels in this game (as per their web site). The gameplay is THE strong point of this game, it is simple yet hard.

Crappiest Part:

The enemies are really friggin annoying. You have to remember their movements and time everything right. This isn’t necessarily crappy, but its just something that is annoying.

Overall Score:

I can really only imagine what happens over the next 40 levels. It says there is “major bosses” on levels 20 and 30, but i dont know how you can beat any enemies….yeah….whatever, I give it a:

7/10

  Slick Spike (PC) (1.5 MiB, 486 hits)

Game by 2Slick Productions, made with Game Maker.

 

Sims Online, The (PC) Review

Please note that this is based on the test play version of The Sims Online

The Sims. Great game, huh? well not really, but apparently everyone else thinks so. Anyways, going online is the next “logical” step, right? Well it might be good if they just made the game multiplayer. That’s what we thought it would be, right? Well it’s really not even the same game. There’s no point in getting skill points. They kind of help you get more money (get to that later), but the money’s not important. Who wants to design a house? It’s boring! Then you have roommates.. That was a good idea, but one always stays on 24/7 and then when you go back on he’s got perfect stats and he’s ben breaking the pinata all bight and bought 5 pizza makers and is raking in all the profits and tells you to give him all your money or he’ll kick you out of the house!! Eh… this isn’t going too well.. I’m gonna organize this into liitle sections..

presentation:

Actually ok, but kinda buggy. it’s got a whole interface for “email” and “instant messages”. Good ideas. I like the whole city idea, where you live in a …city…ok, it’s not too innovative, but I was impressed.

graphics:

whatever! screw it, you all have seen the sims. what i didn’t like is you can’t make your own skins or import them from websites (If you can, then you’re the only one that sees the difference).

sound:

Sucks! I hate the Sims sounds! you have to buy a radio to hear any music, and when you do, you feel like you’re listening to ‘Hit Clips’! Sucks! I hate the retarded “language” the sims have. “blah bloo blee blah?” “Bloo! Bloo! Ble ba ba be bo te!” Shut the hell up! And that tv pisses me off too. another hit clips piece of crap. It shows thes static images of a guy holding a sausage. It’s supposed to be “horror”. I hate it how you can only hear stuff when you’re looking at it, too.

gameplay:

This is the suckkiest part. THIS GAME HAS NO POINT. To me, it seems like the whole object of the game is to get money to buy crappy items that have minigames that you can WATCH your sims play. And “going to work” is the biggest load of crap i ever played. there are three jobs that actually pay good because they’re the interactive ones.

1) pizza maker- This thing blows. ok, theres four people around a table. they each have three ingredients. they might be different sizes, or different altogether. the goal is for everyone to put the right ingredient and size onto the pizza so they are all the same size and it has three required ingredients. Whoppie. You get more money for making a bigger pizza, so of course everyone puts on a large ingredient as soon as they get one. most often the pizza comes out as a charred mess. you can talk to each other during it, too. the typical pizza goes something like this:

Guy1: I got a med doh, sml sauce, and lrg anchovies

Guy2: ss, ss, sc

Guy3: I got cheese!

Guy4: No, I got cheese! I already put it in!

Guy1: what the hell! we don’t even know what size we’re making!

Guy2: Fukin noob!

Guy3: I call cheese!

Guy4: I already did that! you can’t put in two of the same thing!

Guy1: come on guys! guy4, what size did you do?

Guy3: you can’t do cheese cause i just put mine in!

Guy4: I PUT MINE IN FIRST!!

Guy2: Burn it!

Guy1: no! come on! i really need the money! dammit!

but since everyones rushing, it goes more like:

Guy1: md ss la

Guy2: ss ss sc

Guy3: cheese

Guy4: cheese is in

Guy3: cheese in

Guy2: noob! burn!

Guy1: dammit!

my point is it sucks ass. all the jobs are basically the same thing. it basically boils down to a chat program.

conclusion:

for a $50 game and $10 a month, it isn’t worth it. download ninjawalk or something.

Or better yet, since you like the sims so much, buy all the damn expansion packs they keep pulling out thier ass.

overall score: 4/10

 

Save the Bug (PC) Review

Developer: noodle

  Save the Bug (PC) (653.2 KiB, 464 hits)

Game by noodle, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

A long long time ago, an example was made. That example was 1942, and it came with the Game Maker package. Change the sprites and you get this game.

Graphics:

They’re not horrible, but they’re not original. Look at the piece of crap fish.

Sound:

The blowing up sound is annoying, and the song is from the example game, which is also annoying.

Gameplay:

You press the space bar and the arrow keys to shoot rocks. What more would you want in a crappy game?

Crappiest Part:

The part of the game where its 1942…oh wait, that’s the whole game! So the whole thing is crap!

Overall Score:

This game was ripped off another one. WoW you know how to change sprites! You shoulda made it Save The Penis instead and have the bug a penis instead and have it shooting out the orange shit. Now THAT would be funny, and be worth a 2.

1/10

  Save the Bug (PC) (653.2 KiB, 464 hits)

Game by noodle, made with Game Maker.

 

Sauen’s Christmas Game (PC) Review

Developer: Sauengames

  Sauen's Christmas Game (PC) (1.7 MiB, 463 hits)

Game by Sauengames, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Sauen’s Christmas Game is a shitty compilation of 7 games. These games are so shitty, that you’ll have more fun taking a shit than playing any of the 7 wonderful (and I use that sarcastically) games. These games cannot compare to shit. Shit smells better, looks better, and sounds better.

Graphics:

Well, remember what I said about shit looking better? Well, it does. The graphics suck ass, and the people are so small in the games you can barely make out any detail. I don’t know if its a guy’s penis or his arm. The only mini-game that is not included in this realm of shittiness is Snowball Challenge, where the graphics are actually decent, and if you play it first, gives a false impression to the quality of the rest of the mingames.

Sound:

There’s a couple of songs you can choose from on the main screen. There’s no song that starts out though, and you’re presented with 3 options. Music 1, No Music, and Music 2. They’re both Christmas songs.

Gameplay:

The gameplay in this game varies from game to game. Here’s a rundown of all the different games.

Snowball Challenge – This game is stupid. All you do is click, and hope the snowballs will hit the furry little purple guys that are trying to rape your elven army.

Ufo! – You’re a rocket. And you’re trying to dodge the mean ol’ rain clouds. No problem, you can just blast them away with your 3-way machine gun! HOORAY! You also get 5 rockets that don’t do anything better than the machine guns.

Sliding Challenge – What do you get when you cross Ski-Free and a not very creative programmer? A CONTEST OF BRUTE STRENGTH WHILE SLIDING ON SLEDS, THAT’S WHAT IT IS! You race the computer down a hill with trees and rocks and the computer always wins.

Protect the Iglos – Yes, I know it says “Iglo.” That’s how its spelled in the game. Obviously an iglo is different from an “igloo” in that it has a chimney (in case you ever wanted to start a fire inside the iglo) and an ice door on it. This is basically a stupidly shitty version of Cliff Gunner. Like we need to have a Christmas version of it around.

Ice Fishing – Ever wanted to play ice fishing? Well, your dream has come true! Except there really isn’t any ice that you drill through…and there’s fish that are about 50 feet long…and its pretty god damned shitty….did I mention that? I think I said shitty around 15 times by now.

Ice World – Oooh. Tantalizing name isn’t it? Well, its, yet again, another shitty game. You’d think this was a mad dash across the screen to get to the other side of the “world,” but you actually have to collect as many of the shit coins as you possibly can, without running into any ice fragments. Welcome to Ice World, the shittiest planet in the universe.

Biathlon – Say it ain’t so! A SKIING game that makes you go around a track? Yes it is. And the funny thing is, you can’t make a complete lap around this circuit.

Crappiest Part:

The crappiest part of the game is how you will get a heart attack from playing all these games in succession. Well, I didn’t. I just had to take a crap after all of them. So I’m going to do that now.

Overall Score:

This pack of mini-games is so god damn stupid, I can only be thankful it was all put into the same game, and not made into 7 different ones. That would’ve blew hard. For this reason alone, and the 5 minutes of enjoyment I actually did get out of playing “Ufo!,” it gets a

2/10

  Sauen's Christmas Game (PC) (1.7 MiB, 463 hits)

Game by Sauengames, made with Game Maker.

 

Resilience (PC) Review

Developer: Not a Sock Games

  Resilience (PC) (1.3 MiB, 449 hits)

Game by Not A Sock Games, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Ok….i’m not sure what you’re supposed to do, but you’re in a space ship, going around the solar system…and you have weapons that don’t destroy anything

Graphics:

The graphics are ok. you can tell the planets are the actual things…

Sound:

The spaceship…sounds like what spaceship would probably sound like, but that’s why its probably better to play this game with the speakers off…

Gameplay:

uhhhhhh i dont like it too much. sometimes i’m not sure if i’m going toward the planet or away from it.

Crappiest part:

How it takes so long to get to a planet, and once you do get there, you dont know what to do.

Overall Score:

i gave it a 7/10, because the stats kept me interested for 10 seconds.

  Resilience (PC) (1.3 MiB, 449 hits)

Game by Not A Sock Games, made with Game Maker.

 

Red Faction II (PC) Review

Alright, I was expecting a lot out of this, since the first one was so creative and unique in many ways. I gave it too many chances, I should’ve known it was going to be godawful as soon as the game started and it took me twenty minutes to figure out that you’re supposed to blow up a staircase or something (the wall is invincible). The back of the Red Faction II case boasts that it has the Geo-Mod technology that RF1 had so I was pretty pumped up. I was very dissapointed. It’s more of a team game, except the thing is your teammates can’t die. You can simply stand back and let them do all the work for you. The back of the case also brags about the ability to control vehicles, I saw at least 30 vehicles that are completely unable to be interacted with. The enemies have clever scripted lines everytime you do a specific task such as “GRENADE!” and “I have a few bullets saved for you!” Please take note that they say these things even when there’s no possible way they can see you or what you’re doing. The weapons are plentiful at the least: you start out with grenades and some kind of assault rifle, next thing you know you’re packed with about half a trillion rockets and a launcher. Why anyone would ever EVER want to switch from the rocket launcher to some other weapon is beyond me. It’s one of those situations where you wonder “Should I shoot them with a rifle for three hours or just shoot a shitload of rockets and blow them all to hell in a max time of six seconds?” Unlike RF1, it involves absolutely NO strategic effort whatsoever, you just run around shooting people with a rocket launcher. That is until you get to the helicopter part, this stage is quite different. You are now shooting people with rockets IN A HELICOPTER!! The designers of this masterpiece have really stretched their imagination limits on this one. So after you kill 3/4 of the city’s population, the helicopter gets shot down (despite the fact that I had well over 50% “heli-health” at the time that it happened) And thus comes the exciting sewer adventure. After you wonder around for countless hours looking for pipes to swim in you end up in a subway station. Dodging the train was bad enough, but they had to invent an enemy that challenges even the Cliff Racer from Morrowind in pure annoyance. A small bug robot thing which I like to call “fucking bastard” comes up to you and simply explodes on you for no reason. Sure that isn’t that bad, but they had to put about 400 of them in every three feet of the station. I’d like to take a small time out to add the fact that in no parts of these stages are any walls able to be blown up, some floors can be holed, but is there any hidden wall items? Of course not, because there’s no such thing as “paths that can be used as a shortcut instead of wondering around a scripted path like an idiot.” This really makes me sick, and they shouldn’t have even named it Red Faction II if it had nothing to do with the system used in RF1. But let’s slow down here for a second…what DOES it have to do with RF1? Well your team is called the Red Faction, that is it. They are not dressed or organized like the Red Faction at all. Now if you haven’t already noticed, this game is completely pointless and is just like every other ordinary FPS out there (including ones made years ago). Well anyway, a few years later you get to take control of a giant suit of armor and…you’ll never believe this…shoot rockets at people. I was shooting things hoping for a path to open up for thirty straight minutes. I kept shooting rockets at some kind of stumps sticking out of the ground, then I figured out that you have to shoot right in the middle of them. Gone are the days of shooting near it and watching part of it blow away, or just simply walking over them. Also, the whole time this is happening some army cliche kept shouting “GOOD SHOT!” This game sucks. You end up having to protect some guys on the street and jumping across buildings, some guys were shooting at me from below so I jumped down adn immediately died in the undodgable fire wall circling the building. I really didn’t give a shit and I quickly turned the game off. It was by far the best part of the entire game. In conclusion, this is NOT an RF game, it’s more like a Doom meets Unreal Tournament kind of shindig. I’m just glad I only rented it and didn’t go out and buy it first thing like some suckers. I got way more pleasure off playing Terminator 2: Judgement Day for the SNES, pretty bad huh? Stay away from RF2 unless you like blowing your money on pointless piles of crap. Graphics: 9 Sound: 7 Replayabilty: 0 Fun Factor: -5 Controls: 7 Overall: 18 out of 50 stars (basically a 4/10)

MULTIPLAYER:

This one’s going to be short due to there’s absolutely nothing new in Multiplayer. There’s a few maps and you choose bots to play against, nothing special. What IS special however is the gameplay when you fire up a map. I’ve never seen a better deathmatch on any FPS game than RF1, all the walls that are able to be blown up, the awesome flamethrowers that you can throw the gas canister from, and Geo-Mod secrets. Well they’ve somehow screwed up that up in RF2, they include a few weapons and enable 2 whole walls in all maps combined to be blown up. I even saw that there’s a map from RF1 available, “There’s no possible way they can screw THIS up!” I shouted to myself for no apparent reason…..I was wrong. Imagine this, you’re transported to the good ol’ two-base map of RF1, but you noticed something’s changed…The weapons on the ground no longer look at all like weapons, they’re now cardboard cut-outs colored blue and red. But they act as if they were real weapons if you walk over them. I can see how some would like this but I find it just annoying that the whole map is covered in large blue and red icons, I guess it’s because I’m “sane.” Anyway, I immediately ran up the top of my base and got the huge rocket launcher (which now isn’t near as big) and shot it…I almost puked. 1. The rocket hit the wall, blowing up about 1/8 as big as the rocket from RF1, I mean that rocket was fucking huge and hurt you from miles away. Now that was firepower. 2. The only thing it did to the wall was make a big black spot. Seeing as RF1 was able to make every square inch of wall blastable, why the hell can’t RF2?? This made my stomach cringe in pain. The most memorable moment I’d say was when I was in a deathmatch with two people with idiotic names and I tried to shoot the bridge out from under them. It made a big black mark, then about three seconds the mark dissapeared. Thank you THQ! There’s other multiplayer modes but I was too sick to try them out. Bagman: You grab a bag and try to hold it for the longest time without getting killed. O_o Capture the Flag: Get the other team’s flag and bring it to your base. o_O Arena: Like deathmatch except everyone has the same weapon. o_o Team Arena: Same as above, with teams. This game sucks, there’s no way around it. Whoever finds this game even remotely fun should be injected with the same shit the designing team of RF2 was, only eight hundred times more. (I’m looking at you Mark) Go get Bloodrayne instead.

 

Radial Pong (PC) Review

Developer: Flammable Werks

  Radial Pong (PC) (667.4 KiB, 503 hits)

Game by Flammable Werks, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Imagine pong…but instead of going just up and down, you can move around in a circle and go into the center of the circle too. That is this game, Radial Pong.

Graphics:

The graphics aren’t special, but what more could you really want from a pong game? The cloud background beats the hell out of the original pong game in graphics (or should i say CRAPhics hyuck)

Sound:

The music is good. The main menu song is kind of stupid, cause there’s supposed to be like DJ scratching sounds or something, but its in MIDI, so it sounds like crap.

Gameplay:

The gameplay is a bit hard to get used to, but its pretty good, for what you do in this game.

Crappiest Part:

How you can’t get a screenshot of you losing or winning. I woulda put one here either way, but I couldn’t seem to get it for some reason.

Overall Score:

There’s nothing really bad about this game, but there isn’t that much that is good either. Its a good game though, for a Game Maker game. 7/10.

  Radial Pong (PC) (667.4 KiB, 503 hits)

Game by Flammable Werks, made with Game Maker.

 

FW Pac-Man (PC) Review

Developer: Flammable Werks

  FW Pac-Man (642.9 KiB, 442 hits)

Game by Flammable Werks, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This is a basic Pac-Man game, with better graphics than the original. It actually gets kinda hard later on in the game.

Graphics:

The graphics are alright. There’s nothing bad about them.

Sound:

I think there’s only one song, and its the original Pac-Man song, but its like remade to sound a lot better, and there’s drums and junk…but its still a MIDI…and it is annoying to a degree.

Gameplay:

The gameplay is smooth, and its not overly hard because the enemies move about the same speed as you.

Crappiest Part:

I had to pause for a while and think about this…ok i thought of something. There’s nothing to build on top of the original Pac-Man game.

Overall Score:

This game is a basic Pac-Man game, but it didn’t build anything on top of Pac-Man to make it go somewhere. But its a very nice Pac-Man game if you like to play Pac-Man.

8/10

  FW Pac-Man (642.9 KiB, 442 hits)

Game by Flammable Werks, made with Game Maker.

 

Osamuraisann (PC) Review

Developer: Jazzuo Games

  Osamuraisann (PC) (1.7 MiB, 448 hits)

Game by Jazzuo Games, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

You’re a samurai trying not to get killed. You have a million and 2 lives and a sword.

Graphics:

The graphics are really good, but lack detail. I’m pretty sure the sprites are original, since he uses different sprites of the same style in most of his games. There’s also a beginning movie thing that is pretty cool too, but it doesnt have anything but one of the samurai guys doing…something..

Sound:

There’s no music, just samurai guy sounds going “WHAAAAA” and “YOOOOOAAAHHH” and “EEEEEYYYAAAHHHH.” It gets annoying as fuck, even though its funny in the beginning.

Gameplay:

Its ok, i don’t like the moving system that much. You move with the mouse, but by clicking.

Crappiest part:

Its almost impossible to have a positive score for too long, since each guy you kill is 1 point and everytime you die (which is a lot of times) is -5 points.

Overall Score:

This is a fun game, but it seriously lacks replay value. 7/10.

  Osamuraisann (PC) (1.7 MiB, 448 hits)

Game by Jazzuo Games, made with Game Maker.

 

Ore No Ryori (PC) Second Opinion Review

  Ore No Ryori (PC) (2.7 MiB, 578 hits)

Game by Vertigo Games, made with Game Maker.

I’d read about this game a few days before it was released, and being the simulator loving mormon I am I downloaded it the first day the author released it to the public. Ore No Ryori means “my cooking” in Japanese despite what the loading screen says and the game is just that…cooking.

A relative of yours is ill and now you’re the chef/dishwasher/waiter/everything that isn’t the cashier of his restaurant. Which must’ve been pretty crappy before the relative became ill because you start out with nothing but some pizza and beer to sell. The action starts almost immediately, and people start running in ordering pizza and beer left and right. The goal is to raise $30,000 in 40 days or the restaurant will be shut down for….some reason. No borrowing money from granny’s purse now big boy, it’s time to sell nachos.

At the end of every day you have the choice to buy objects to upgrade your restaurant. There’s a tip jar for customers who got orders that you did just right, a candy rack for the guys who got burnt pizza and over-filled beer (which is like me ordering a pizza, getting two instead, then not tipping because I only ordered one), some safety objects, some new food to sell, a hot bar, and various electronics. The safety objects are good for bribing the Board of Health who come by every 4 days to stick their penis in your snacks. If you fail the inspection you have to hand over five hundred big ones, which will most likely piss you off. The new foods that are available are nachos, burgers, steaks, and soup. It’s best to get all the food early in the game if you want to actually win.

After buying all the food, things can get pretty hectic. Running after a thief while handing out soup and cooking a steak can be quite a workout, as well as serving the bastard that comes in every two seconds wanting a beer. The mailman comes by every now and then and gives you either bills or a package. The bills can either result in you losing or gaining thirty-five dollars, the package is from your relatives, which is sometimes a picture (even though after you get the first one, the other ones don’t show up) and other times two hundred dollars, which isn’t half bad for a sick guy. The before-mentioned hot bar is good for cash and nothing else (like everything else in the game), people run by it and grab food, leaving fifteen dollars in with the Chinese eyeballs or whatever the hell is in it. Last and probably least are the electronics. There’s a TV to increase the customers’ waiting time for food (I don’t think it works), a phone that, when picked up, is almost always a seventy dollar loss by your wifebeating landlord, and actually I think that’s all the electronics there are, a bug zapper sure would have been appreciated.

So did I like this game? Yes I did, very much so. I’ve played it for two or three hours and can now safely consider myself a master in the vitual cooking realm, which probably won’t score me that many dates now that I think about it. But everyone knows I’ve played Mark Platinum now so there’s no chance in hell I could ever get a date with anyone ever again. Sure this game may not have taught me all there is about cooking, but sure taught me that using too many parenthesis in a review makes you look like an idiot.

Graphics: 4

Gameplay: 8

Sound: 7

Controls: 8

Replayability: 7

Overall: 34/50 (basically a 7/10)

An angry pirate stands at the meth lab while I pour him some home brewed urine from the tap.

  Ore No Ryori (PC) (2.7 MiB, 578 hits)

Game by Vertigo Games, made with Game Maker.

 

Ore No Ryori (PC) Review

Developer: Vertigo Games

  Ore No Ryori (PC) (2.7 MiB, 578 hits)

Game by Vertigo Games, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This is a very unique game, and one of the only games you’ll ever find that has to do with owning a restaurant and cooking. Your parents go to Japan or some country and have to take care of a sickly relative, and leave the restaurant to you for 40 days, in franchise mode.

Graphics:

The graphics are very good for this game. The ingredients looked like the real thing, and so did all the food, but the whole style of the game makes it look like its paper drawn, or paper cut-out. Not cel shaded though.

Sound:

The sounds in this game are very good. There’s only 2 songs or so, and they go well with the whole mood of the game. Only bad thing though is when you’re playing, the song ends and it stops for about a couple seconds so that it can restart. The sounds of disappointment and satisfaction are good, and when you spend so much time (like I have), the satisfaction sounds actually make you happy for some reason.

Gameplay:

Very challenging. You really have to pay attention to what the customer wants to get it just right. It seems like the game gets harder at your own pace, allowing you to buy more types of food to sell at your own discretion, so that more customers come in at the same time requesting a different thing. Once you buy all the foods, its crazy. Since I’m an absolute and total veteran master sargeant at this game, its not that hard for me, but the first day I played after I bought all of the foods, it was hell, because 8 different people came in at the same time. It is kind of strange to see some guys come in for a beer at 7:00 in the morning, supposedly getting ready for work…and guys coming in for pizza or steak in the morning, nachos at night, etc.

Crappiest Part:

There isn’t much story to lead you on through the game, but the fun of cooking and making money is enough to cover for the lack of story. I would have wanted a little more in-depth restaurant management thing though, so that new things keep happening, instead of once you buy all the things there is to buy, all you do is just keep on cooking and serving food until the last day (if you’re in franchise mode).

Overall Score:

This is a very good game, and is one that I would actually pay to play. Its not too often a game as good as this comes around. There are 3 modes in the game, Tutorial, Franchise, and Arcade. You can unlock/buy the Arcade mode after going through the Franchise mode. It implies that there are secret options or something in the game, but I’m not too sure, because I haven’t beat it yet. I give it a

10/10

  Ore No Ryori (PC) (2.7 MiB, 578 hits)

Game by Vertigo Games, made with Game Maker.

 

Ness’ Christmas Journey (PC) Review

Developer: Darklink570

  Ness' Christmas Journey (PC) (1.3 MiB, 471 hits)

Game by Darklink570, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This game is a game about Ness, and he’s launched in the air by his friend Jeff (this being presumably after Earthbound). Its a fairly involving game, and is very challenging. The story may be a bit cheesy, but so is your mom…>.>

Graphics:

The sprites were mostly ripped from Earthbound, but the background was really good. And the way the “psi” attacks were animated was pretty good too. The only bad thing, is that its really small, so you can’t see the details, like if there’s a crevace thing you can go in.

Sound:

The music is very good. But after a while I don’t notice it much, because I get really involved in the game. Besides that point, it really goes well with the game. Ness screams when he gets hurt

Gameplay:

The gameplay is very good, runs smoothly, and you don’t get stuck on any edges (like Elfish Wars).

Crappiest Part:

So…hard….::stranded in the desert:: ….

Overall Score:

This game is very fun for an adventure game, and I suggest anyone but Nintendo’s lawyers to play this game. I give it a:

9/10

  Ness' Christmas Journey (PC) (1.3 MiB, 471 hits)

Game by Darklink570, made with Game Maker.

 

Missile Wave 2 (PC) Review

Developer: Shawn64’s Creations

  Missile Wave 2 (PC) (4.8 MiB, 467 hits)

Game by Shawn64's Creations, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This is a very fun game, in which missiles of many types are trying to destroy a pile of blocks that you have to save by clicking the missiles, and using different weapons to destroy them.

Graphics:

The graphics of the missiles are very interesting to watch and look at as they fire into the blocks, split up into smaller missiles, and stuff like that. One bad thing though, is that the “powerup” icons are taken from Pocket Tanks.

Sound:

There’s a pretty cool title screen kinda tune, there’s no in game music, because there’s so many explosions and missile sounds that sound really cool.

Gameplay:

The gameplay is very simple, but gets more interesting with powerups, weapons, and other things. Its more than just point and click, you have to get rid of the things that are more dangerous at the time than others, and you have to always keep paying attention to what you do.

Crappiest Part:

The pocket tank icons used as the powerups in this game. And the fact that if the missiles go through the top of the screen or the bottom of the screen, they come out on the opposite end, and its kinda hard to click on them then.

Overall Score:

This game is so fun, that I can actually see myself playing it just to play it. This should be a classic arcade type of game. I give it a:

9/10

  Missile Wave 2 (PC) (4.8 MiB, 467 hits)

Game by Shawn64's Creations, made with Game Maker.

 

Me a Monkey (PC) Review

Developer: Cybershark

  Me a Monkey (PC) (598.0 KiB, 430 hits)

Game by Cybershark, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Never before in a game, do you have a bazooka thing that shoots spinning bananas that blow up ninja monkeys, piles of goo, stupid things you can’t shoot, and hover monkeys from a boat, until this game. This game takes you through lush scenery, like…umm…black…steps, and waterfalls and trees that you can’t climb (even though you’re a monkey)

Graphics:

Completely sub-par. I don’t even know what that means exactly, but its less than average.

Sound:

The annoying exploding sounds. The weird thing is, when you shoot, you hear an explosion, not when you actually have the thing explode…

Gameplay:

Normal…but there were times where I fell through the floor, and that was gay, because then I had to start over again. The only part that I actually kind of liked was the boat level thing…if you ever get past all the parts of the game you can fall through..

Crappiest Part:

How you fall through the floor sometimes for no reason. It seems you only fall if you shoot in specific places. And the legs of the monkey keep moving even though you’re not moving.

Overall Score:

It was an ok attempt, but it could have been done better.

4/10

  Me a Monkey (PC) (598.0 KiB, 430 hits)

Game by Cybershark, made with Game Maker.