Joke #21177

A nurse walks into a bank.

Preparing to endorse a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her pocket and tries to write with it.

She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, she says,

“Well, that’s great. Just great. Some asshole’s got my pen.”

 

Joke #13222

A man frantically rushed into a hospital emergency room with two broken arms.  He ran up to the nurse at the desk and shouted, “I need a doctor!”

The nurse calmly nodded and said, “Before we treat you, I have to know one vital fact.”

“I’m not allergic to penicillin,” cried the man.  “My heart is fine and I’m not on any medication.”

“That’s good,” said the nurse, “but that’s not the information I need.”

“What is it then?” shouted the man, grimacing in pain.

The nurse replied, “Do you have medical coverage or will you pay cash?”