Joke #5204: Broken Leg

“HOW DID IT HAPPEN?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg.

“Well, doc, 25 years ago …”

“Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.”

“Like I was saying…25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d gone to bed, the farmer’s beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I said, ‘No, everything is fine.’

‘Are you sure?’ she asked.

‘I’m sure.’

‘Isn’t there anything I can do for you?’

‘I reckon not,'”

“Excuse me,” said the doctor, “What does this story have to do with your leg?”

“Well, this morning,” the farmhand explained, “it dawned on me what she meant, and I fell off the roof!”

 

Joke #5200: Devout Catholic

Maria is a devout Catholic. (No condoms for her!) She gets married and has 17 children…and then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later…and has 22 children by her second husband. She dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens, and says, “At last…they’re finally together.” A man standing next to him asks, “Excuse me, Father, but do you mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?”

“No,” the priest says politely, “I mean her LEGS.”