Tag Archives: cheese

The Cheese Wrapper Theory

You know those Cheese Squares that come in those hard to open plastic wrappers? Those aren’t what you think they are. There actually spy cameras that have been sent here by the Canadian UnSpecial Forces and The Mexican Salsa Dancers Union. The cameras (“cheese singles”) are sold to house holds and plan to take over your fridge. You might be like: “Whoa wait a minute, MY fridge?” Yes YOUR Fridge. They plan to start a war (they are also robots) and blast everything in your fridge so it goes bad and gets all rotten and ucky and disgusting. Those lumps when your milk goes bad are the cheese’s poop. Notice how there always sold in packs and never in singles? And why are they so hard to open? It’s EASY! They just want you to throw the “cheese squares” in the fridge while they zap all your other food and make it go rotten…

The Big Slap Theory

See the world didn’t begin with a big bang, it began with a big smack. God smacked the devil because the devil was beating him at twister. So god, with his bad sportsman ship and all, said: “I condemm you to be a Human” and the devil said: “NOOOOOOOOO oh well, as long as I get blunts and girls and superbowl’s” So then God smacked him and it created the devil to fart 9 times, each fart let out a planet. (Of course, he farted out venus first cause he just ate a chilly dog with extra cheese) and earth was the last one to pop out. Then god smacked him down to earth and thats how it all began.