#6483: davepoobond -> I love poisons

davepoobond: hey

I love poisons: hello.

davepoobond: whats up

I love poisons: not much… you?

davepoobond: sameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I love poisons: and, um… who might you be?

davepoobond: i was gonna ask you the same question

I love poisons: well, you IMed me.

davepoobond: you were on my buddy list

davepoobond: you must have put yourself on somehow

I love poisons: *tilts head* i don’t recollect that.

davepoobond: welllllllllll

davepoobond: i guess thats your fault

davepoobond: now that we know whos fault it is

davepoobond: lets move on

davepoobond: were you exposed to porn at a young age?

I love poisons: well, what do you consider young?

davepoobond: long enough back to remember

I love poisons: I wasn’t exposed to porn until I was 12.

davepoobond: unh hunh

davepoobond: well i beat you by about half a life

I love poisons: how old are you?

davepoobond: 18

I love poisons: ah.

davepoobond: what i meant is half of your life before you were exposed to porn

davepoobond: meaning 5

I love poisons: mm


#6479: davepoobond -> Coldxs666

davepoobond: hi

Coldxs666: ?

davepoobond: can i talk to ur mom

Coldxs666: sure

davepoobond: cool

Coldxs666: yes

davepoobond: no

Coldxs666: what do u want

davepoobond: a tall glass of you

davepoobond: ::wink wink::

Coldxs666: ok

Coldxs666: can i have some of u

davepoobond: no, i dont give, i receive

davepoobond: if u get what i’m saying

Coldxs666: hes i do

davepoobond: so you have a minimum wage job huh

Coldxs666: yes

davepoobond: AND you play bass guitar

Coldxs666: yes

davepoobond: aint that amazing, i do too

Coldxs666: wow its a small world


#6477: davepoobond -> Phoenix

davepoobond: ffff

Phoenix: gggg

davepoobond: iiii

Phoenix: oooo

davepoobond: ;;;;

Phoenix: ….

davepoobond: ++++

Phoenix: ~~~~

davepoobond: ****

davepoobond: \\\\

Phoenix: ****

davepoobond: i already did that

Phoenix: Oops, I lose. I shall kill myself now.

davepoobond: ::victory dance::

Phoenix: Is off dieing, please hold.

Phoenix: Awww, man… and that was my favorite shirt…

davepoobond: yeah thats too bad

Phoenix: Now it’s all bloody, and Goddammit, it’s clotting.

davepoobond: well, its not your fault, no one can beat me

Phoenix: I know, I know. I’d your bitch….

davepoobond: the man with the microphone can tell you what he loves the most


#6474: Holmes -> davepoobond

Holmes: hey, are you good at riddles?

davepoobond: i guess

Holmes: A man and a woman were driving in their car when it broke down. The man decided to go for help at a gas station a few miles back. He made sure nobody was in the car, rolled all the windows up, and locked all of the sedan’s doors. He went off, but when he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. No physical damage was done to the car, so how did the stranger get in?

davepoobond: dont know

davepoobond: came in thrhough the glove compartment

Holmes: damnit! ask someone who would know, this riddle is makin me mad

Holmes: already guessed that

Holmes: i also guessed that the strange was a blowup doll and when the wife saw it she died of a heargt attack

davepoobond: whered u get it

davepoobond: dont they have an answer for it?

Holmes: nope

Holmes: they said: “sorry were not givin the answer for this one”

Holmes: a friend and his friend gave it to me

Holmes: ask around…

Holmes: like to all your friends

davepoobond: http://www.ben-ritter.com/

davepoobond: thats this site this kid gave me at school

davepoobond: i sorta know him.

davepoobond: met him at the shuttle stop one day

davepoobond: gave him Squackle, and he said the menu was very unorganized

davepoobond: and he told me to look at the menu he has

Holmes: uh

Holmes: he’s got a lot less links

Holmes: then you do

davepoobond: yeah, i know that now

davepoobond: but this site is pretty good for format

Holmes: just tell him that i get more hits on my site then your mom gets in one night

davepoobond: heh, its not even finished yet tho

Holmes: i can tell that



davepoobond: he said its gonna be like a hacker page thingy

Holmes: yeah what eva, they all say that

davepoobond: but “not R-rated stuff’

Holmes: wtf hackers are all about r rated stuff

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: i dont know

davepoobond: i think he’s in 9th grade or 7 or 8. i’m not sure

Holmes: i c

davepoobond: this is really gay. i spilled water on my keyboard accidently and my shift key and ctrl key are sticking, but they still work

Holmes: heheheh

davepoobond: do you think i should make the font on squackle smaller?

Holmes: keyboards and water don’t mix

davepoobond: do you think i should make the font on squackle smaller?

Holmes: hmm

Holmes: the font looks fine to me

davepoobond: is there anything that you think i should do that would make the site look better?

Holmes: yes

Holmes: don’t listen to what dumbasses say about your site

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: well, this guy said that he makes formats for companies and they pay him

Holmes: whoich guy?

davepoobond: the same guy

Holmes: yeah right that looks like a template made from some program

davepoobond: that could mean he’s that good though

Holmes: hmm..

Holmes: it COULD, but ask him HTML questions

davepoobond: its not like i know anything about HTML

Holmes: . . . you made THAT entire website without ANY knowledge of HTML?

davepoobond: if i did, i wouldn’t have asked anyone for help formatting the site…you saw how it was before D-Fiance designed it

davepoobond: yeah

Holmes: …what is the internet coming too?

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: but i did have web site experience before i went into it

davepoobond: and a nifty little tool called AOLPress

Holmes: get dreamweaver

davepoobond: though it might be old, its still the best out there

davepoobond: dreamweaver wouldnt fit on my comp



Holmes: no

davepoobond: best for me

Holmes: even front page is better the AOL press

davepoobond: how much space does Dreamweaver take?

Holmes: it took an hour and a half to download

Holmes: let me check

Holmes: about 71 MB

davepoobond: hmm

Holmes: flash is 35 mb

davepoobond: i’d have to get rid of all my MP3s…

davepoobond: i want around 200 mb of free space on my computer

Holmes: adobe photoshop is 100mb

Holmes: YAY i hit all the ducks! whats my prize?

davepoobond: where

Holmes: on your website

Holmes: it said on one of the banner ads: “hit the ducks and win a prize”

davepoobond: i have one of those?

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: ye-up

davepoobond: was it on the top?

Holmes: bottom

Holmes: gtg

Holmes: bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: does dreamweaver make you edit the HTML only?

Holmes: no

Holmes: it’s like AOL press

davepoobond: or is like AOLPress

Holmes: but not gay

davepoobond: ok

Holmes: and a lot better

Holmes: abnd stuff

Holmes: bye

davepoobond: where do i get it

Holmes: you can buy it

Holmes: for 900 dollars

davepoobond: lol…………….


#6470: Holmes -> davepoobond

Note: To understand this IM, read The “lol” Theory


Holmes: hey

davepoobond: yo

Holmes: what up

davepoobond: not much you

Holmes: same

Holmes: bored

Holmes: shitless

Holmes: heh a car controlled by a remote control

Holmes: cool

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: thats been around for a while

Holmes: it’d be like a real life video game

davepoobond: imadumbass

Holmes: iknow

Holmes: lmao


#6469: Evil Hell Cow -> davepoobond

Evil Hell Cow: pssst

Evil Hell Cow: >.>

davepoobond: yaa?

Evil Hell Cow: Hey

davepoobond: hi

Evil Hell Cow: Pssst I got something ya might want <.<

davepoobond: k…..wat is it.

Evil Hell Cow: and it’s only for $50 ::firm nod:: It’s some Viagra….dont ya want some ?

davepoobond: oh yeah………………do you keep my identity confidential

Evil Hell Cow: Nope we sell all your personal info to other companies so they can send you personalized ads and shit

davepoobond: ah ha…….hmm…………give it to me anyway

Evil Hell Cow: we sell your medical records your therapy treat ment, and everything about your whole life

Evil Hell Cow: Alright ::holds out the bottle::now give over the money

davepoobond: ::hands him the money:: alright now the bottle

Evil Hell Cow: ::tosses it over::good luck chump! XD

davepoobond: i dont have a problem!

Evil Hell Cow: know what could suck ?

Evil Hell Cow: OD’ing on Viagra

Evil Hell Cow: Imagine if you did that and had a hard on for like, an entire year

davepoobond: i dont think you can

davepoobond: it’d fall off before that

Evil Hell Cow: LOL