Dialogue Between a Hillbilly Husband and Wife (very dramatic)

Maw: Paw, git up.  It’s time to fuck the hogs and milk the trees.

Paw: Milk the trees???  Listen, I milked them last night.

Maw: Well, git up.  Listen, the old red cow is crowing.

Paw: What’s fer breakfast?  Corn pone and black-eyed poop?

Maw: No.  I got some nice fried beer belly.

Paw: Good.  After breakfast I’ll slap the chickens and I’ll have to fix the still.

Maw: What’s wrong with the still?

Paw: It’s turning out pee instead of moonshine.  I think I’ve been putting too much meat in the mash.

Maw: Well, don’t forget to take your rifle, Paw.  If a Revenue Agent spots you you can shoot him in the arse.

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