A man with two badly burned ears went to see his doctor.
“What happened?” asked the doctor.
“Well,” began the man, “my wife was ironing while I was watching a ball game on TV. She put the hot iron near the telephone and when the phone rang, I answer the iron.”
The doctor nodded. “But what happened to the other ear?”
“No sooner did I hang up,” said the man, “than the same guy called up again!”
A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient.
“Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?” asked the psychiatrist.
“As a matter of fact, I do,” said the patient.
“And when does this happen?” asked the psychiatrist.
“Oh,” said the patient, “when I answer the telephone.”
Receptionist: Hello? Dr. Sickman’s office. May I help you?
Caller: Yes! I feel funny. What should I do?
Receptionist: Try to get on television.
Q: What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?
A: A phone moan.
Q: What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly?
A: “Oops! King Kong ring wrong.”
Q: How does a skeleton make calls?
A: On a bone phone!
Q: How does a baboon make phone calls?
A: He just monkeys around on the line!
Q: How does a barber make phone calls?
A: He cuts them short.
Q: Why was the goblin’s phone bill so high?
A: He made lots of troll calls.
Q: What kind of music do phones love to hear?
A: A symphony!
Q: Why does an octopus need so many phones?
A: So it can reach out and touch someone!
Q: Why did Silly Sally think she was engaged?
A: Because her boyfriend said he’d give her a ring tonight!
Q: What did the frog say when she called her boyfriend?
A: “Let’s live hoppily ever after!”
Q: What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash?
A: Tele-Scope
Q: What do you get if you cross a phone with a pair of glasses?
A: A television.