Now top stories with David…

Sports with Davis…

Weather with Daveed…

a few words with Fiddlesticks…

and The Special Guest Corner with Binky

 

David: Now for the top stories… 1. DBC is going to sue another TV station for taking our material! Its a stupid little station called Matt to the 2nd Power Studios!

 

Daveed : Rifles… check… rocket launchers… check… grenades… check… timed mines… check… remote mines… check… proximity mines… check…

 

David: What the heck are you doing????

 

Daveed: We are going to sue them… right?

 

David: Yeah…so

 

Daveed: Suppose they win!!! I ain’t lettin’ them off THAT easy

 

David: We’re going to SUE them not start a some weird war called TV Station War I. Imagine what ABC, NBC, and CBS will do!

 

Fiddlesticks: What’s TV Station War I?

 

(everybody ignores Fiddlesticks)

 

Daveed: So what!!!! I’m gonna raid their studio with or without you guys!!! F-14…check…tank…check…MiG-25…check…Nuclear bomb… check…missiles…check…Aircraft Carrier…check… Apache Helicopter…check…Cobra Helicopter…check…bazooka…check…oh yeah, I forgot! My squirt gun! Hmm…what else am I missing?

 

Davis (while Daveed is checking his supplies): Hey!!! It’ll be a great topic for my sports column!!! Speaking of sports…

 

Now Sports with Davis… Davis: 1. Too bad. Our rivals took all the info away from us!!! So there’s no sports.

 

David: Oh I almost forgot!!!!! We have a whole NEW cast of members coming!!!! And of course we’ll still be here!!! And they’re coming next episode!!! Here’s the list of people coming, they also have a comment for us!!!

 

Johnny Bravo: Hey!!! There’s a bunch of teeny weeny bikini girls out there!!! What da hell am I doing here??

 

Melonhead: Huh?? Wait!!! I didn’t do anything!!! What am I doing here?? I’m just a melonhead, what do you expect from me????

 

Beep Beep: Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Honk Honk

 

AAAghhh: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Mr.Rock: ……………………………………………………….

 

Garfield: yawwwnn! Ok, now where’s my lasagna? You told me I’d get some if I said something, and I did. At least give me 20 bucks to go to a restaurant or somethin!

 

Davis (pushing Garfield away): That’s a heck of a lineup!!!!

 

David: Yeah! But some people won’t be in the show. Like Beep Beep, AAAghhh, and Mr. Rock. We just put them in for the heck of it!!! But these people might make a cameo appearance someday!

 

(Daveed loads his gun and makes a… well you know how it sounds)

 

Daveed: OK I’m going down there now, whoever wants to come get some guns and some body armor.

 

David: Uh oh, we gotta go. When Daveed starts he never stops. Unless his girlfriend tells him to stop. Excuse me did I say girlfriend? I meant X-Girlfriend….

 

Daveed: I never liked her anyway!!!!!! One day she got on my nerves than I just pulled out a gun and BANG!!!!

 

Davis: Women… you need’em but you can’t live with them.

 

David (looking mad at Davis): Shut up

 

Binky: I ain’t going!!!! I’m doing my part of the show!!!!…

 

(everyone looks at Binky)

 

Binky: Oh, what the heck it’s not like I have anybody to interview

 

Daveed: HA HA! WE GONNA KICK ASS!

 

(everyone runs out the door)

(gun shots can be heard ringing out in the distance)

 

(end)

Now Top stories with-

(the announcer guy from DBC gets fizzled out and some letters appear on the black screen)

Matt to the 2nd Power Studios

(Somewhere in the Nevada desert)

 

Matt: Hello, we are Matt to the 2nd Power Studios. We have hacked DBC’s TV signal and taken it over to bring you this special broadcast from Matt to the 2nd Power Studios.

 

Matthew: Yes, that’s right! We’re going to have special guests such as, well, uh, no one….yet….our expert kidnappers are out searching for a guest as we speak.

 

Mat: So, what do we do now?

 

Matt: Well, we can go out into the blistering hot sun and try to find a tennis court to play basketball on, or we can stay here and watch some porno movies….I got some rare, and very explicit stuff. People that you would never think to do this kind of stuff actually did, and I have it right here.

 

(they all look at each other)

 

Everybody: TENNIS COURT!

 

Mat: Hey, Camera Man, we want you to follow us.

 

Camera Man: Fine. But I better get a bonus for this.

 

Matt: Huh? Bonus? Are you talking about money? You mean the stuff we don’t have, right?

 

Camera Man: I think I’ll stay here and watch the porno movies

 

(Matthew takes out a gun and points it to him)

 

Matthew: Now, what were you saying?

 

Camera Man (looking nervously at the gun): I said I’m gonna watch the porno movies

 

Matthew: No, you didn’t say that

 

Camera Man: Yes, I did

 

(Matthew walks up to him and starts poking him in the gut)

 

Matthew: No, you didn’t say that

 

Camera Man: No, I didn’t

 

Matthew: That’s better. Now come on, lets bring a football so we can find the tennis court to play basketball on.

 

::outside::

 

Mat: Damn, its so hot out here…I feel like I’m gonna melt…..

 

(Mat starts to melt)

 

Matt: Woah dude! You are melting

 

Mat (almost half his size from before): burble burble?

 

Matthew: Excuse me? Did you call me a dirty little prick?

 

(Matthew takes his gun and shoots Mat)

(The bullet makes a sickening splash into Mat)

 

Matthew: Ewwwwww!

 

Matt: Dude, why’d you do that? That bullet cost money!

 

Matthew: But he called me a-

 

Matt: I don’t care. That bullet is coming out of your salary

 

Matthew (thinking for a few seconds): I don’t have a salary

 

Matt: You don’t, now. I’m taking Mat’s salary because he’s dead, and yours because your being a little bitch and wasting the only bullet we had in that gun!

 

Camera Man: Ok, good, that’s it, I’m going back in to watch the porno movies

 

(The camera man turns around and starts to walk to the door, but Matthew clubs him on the back of his head with the gun)

 

Matt: Ew, now he’s all bleeding and making a mess of our front porch! Man, why’d you have to do that???? Now, his blood is boiling from this heat!

 

Matthew: Sorry man, he was pissing me off.

 

Matt: Well, you are pissing me off and I’m not clubbing you on the back with a gun!

 

Matthew: Well, you don’t even HAVE a gun!

 

(Matt grabs Matthew’s gun)

 

Matt: Well, now I do!

 

(Matthew grabs the gun)

 

Matthew: Now you don’t

 

(Matt and Matthew grab at the gun and struggle with it)

 

Matt: GIVE ME THE GUN NOW!!!

 

Matthew: NOO!!!

 

(Matt accidentally fires the gun at Matthew)

 

Matthew: AH! You shot me, you bastard! Now I’m all bleeding and nasty looking.

 

Matt: Ah, man, I thought you had only one bullet…..that’s a pretty big boo-boo…

 

Matthew: Yes, it is

 

(Matthew collapses and dies)

 

Matt: DAMMIT!!! Now I’m all alone!

 

(Matt looks around)

 

Matt: Ah, screw it

 

(Matt points the gun to the head and fires)

(nothing happens)

 

Matt: Damn….well, I guess I’ll go inside and watch the porno movies then.

 

(Matt heads toward the door then turns back)

 

Matt (stopping): Oh, wait a second, The Pooheads won against the Peas, and the M & M people died yesterday. And its hot as hell out here for the weather. Ok, buh bye

 

(Matt goes into the building and the camera fizzles out and explodes because of the heat)

 

(end)