Parody of “The Way I Am,” by Eminem

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Whatever…

 

Bro, just let pee run…

 

Hey yo, i’m the person they beat up a little bit…

 

Hey yo, this song is for anyone……that likes hamsters

 

Hey yo…what a stupid phrase

 

I sit back, with this six pack of Pepsi and this bag of these weeds from the garden,

it gives me the shit i need to be the most meanest hamster owner on this…

on this earth…and since birth I’ve been cursed with this cursed hamster

to just curse and just curse these weirdos that like hamsters and bizarre shit like that REALLY works,

and i sell my services and to relieve all this tension, i shoot the hamsters

 

Dispensing these hamsters, getting the bags

that’s been eatin’ my money recently out of my pockets.

 

And I rest again peacefully…

On my stupid little couch in the middle of the room

and ask to just leave me alone when you see freaks like me out

in the streets when I’m eatin’ or feedin’ my ashtray

to not come and donate money to me.

I don’t know you and no, I don’t want your money

i’m not a homeless man. I’m not Mister poor-o.

 

I’m not what your friends think.

I’m not Mister Unfriendly. I can be a crook.

If you tip me in my little empty cup on the corner.

 

No patience is in me and if you offend me,

with 5 little pennies…flyin through the air.

I don’t care who was there and who saw me destroy you.

I’ll, call you a lawyer. Insult your clawed suit.

 

I’ll smile in the courtroom and flick you off, then run like a goat.

I’m tired of all you penny-givers. I don’t want to be mean

but that’s all I can be. thats just the way it is.

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

 

Sometimes I just feel like my mother. I hate to be dead…

with all of this weird things that actually make sense.

 

It’s constant and “Oh, it’s his maniacal jump rope.”

The song “Milky Chocolate” has gotten such rotten responses.

And all of this griping circles me

and it seems like the media immediately

points a finger in my ass…and records it

 

So I point one back at ’em but not the middle or pinky

or the ring or the thumb. It’s the one you put up

when you tell people to “git” when you just put up

with the bullshit they pull ’cause they fill the hamsters full of shit too.

 

When a guy is gettin bullied and shoots up your school with farts

they dont blame it on the telletubbies…and the heroin

where were the parents at? And look at where their hat is…

 

Under America

now it’s a tragedy

now it’s so sad to see

an upper-class hamster

having shit stuck up their ears.

Then attack me, while on the street

’cause I wrap presents this way.

 

But I’m glad ’cause they feed me the rabies

that I need for the fire in the oil drum to burn,

and it’s burnin’ and I have been burned too…

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

 

I’m so sick and tired of not bein’ admired

that I wish that I would just live or get hired

and get droppings from a bird on my nose. Let’s stop with the folding of the tables.

I’m not goin’ to be able to put this on top of a hamster.

And pigeon-holes that keep pooping on me

that got me in rotation around getting kicked out of all the rock-n-roll stations, everyday

 

And I just do not got the patients…

to deal with these stupid hamsters

who think I’m some poonis who just tries to be green

’cause I dont talk with an accent and rip off all my balls.

 

So they always keep askin’ the same fuckin’ questions…

Where did I go to learn this stuff? What did I grow up in?

The why, the who what, when the where and the how

’til I’m grabbin’ their hair and I’m tearin’ it out.

 

You’ve been drivin’ me crazy. I just can’t take it.

I’m slicin’ I’m dicin’. I stand then I sit on a pooing hamster.

And I’m thankful for every hamster that I get to kill

but I can’t take a shit in the bathroom

without worrying about the stain…

 

You knew I won’t put deodorant on

you can call me an asshole, cuz i killed your hamster. I’m glad.

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

 

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

Sometimes I just feel like my mother. I hate to be dead…

with all of this weird things that actually make sense.

 

(end)