I won’t say my doctor has old magazines in his office, but yesterday I read where Harry Truman became President.
Tag Archives: doctor
Joke #12294
INTERN: “How did you treat that patient with frostbite?”
DOCTOR: “I put him in bed with a fellow who had a high fever and leveled them both off.”
Joke #12293
PATIENT: “Well, Doctor, you’ve examined me. Now tell me how do I stand?”
DOCTOR: “It puzzles me too.”
Joke #12292
The doctor’s waiting room was packed with patients. After about two hours of waiting and waiting, an old lady stood up and said, “Tell the doc I went home to die a natural death!”
Joke #12291
DERMATOLOGIST: “I think you have poison ivy.”
PATIENT: “Now that’s what I call a rash judgment.”
Joke #12289
Doctors have recently discovered that the major cause of headaches to men and women in the United States is marriage.
Joke #12282
PATIENT: “Is it true, Doc, you make a lot of money?”
DOCTOR: “You bet I do. Would you want to trust your health to a doctor who didn’t make a sack of dough?”
Joke #12280
A patient in the local hospital was really angry. He called his doctor and told him, “That dumb nurse came into my room last night and plugged my electric blanket into the automatic toaster on my night table and every five minutes I kept popping out of the darned bed!”
Joke #12016
“Doctor, you have to help me. I just can’t remember anything anymore.”
“How long have you had this?”
“Had what?”
Joke #12008
A man was just admitted to the hospital for surgery. He said to his doctor, “Golly, I’m so frightened. This is my first operation.”
The doctor nodded his head and replied, “I know how you feel, it’s my first operation too!”
Joke #12005
“Doctor, you put my wife on a sardine diet. For two months she ate nothing but sardines.”
“Did she lose weight?”
“Sure she lost weight, but now every time she takes a bath, she fills the tub with olive oil.”
specialist
specialist – n. a doctor who has fewer patients than a general practitioner and more money
Joke #12003
HYPOCHONDRIAC: “Doctor, I have a pain in my neck.”
DOCTOR: “So do I, and you’re it!”
Joke #12001
On Wednesdays, it’s easy to pick out a doctor. He’s the guy carrying a little black medical bag in one hand and a big brown golf bag in the other.
Joke #12000
QUACK DOCTOR: “Do you want to know how to keep from losing your hair?”
PATIENT: “Yes, Doctor. How?”
QUACK DOCTOR: “Sew a name tag inside your toupee.”