Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs, (C) Song Parodies

I Watch TV With My Eyes Closed

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Parody of “Wendy Clear,” by Blink-182

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I watch TV with my eyes closed

Is there something on that I should watch?

Sounds like Oprah

There must be a hemaphrodite stripping

I think I won’t watch

 

I watch TV with my eyes closed

 

Is there something on that I should watch?

I doubt it, must be Regis and Kathy Lee

They’re probably jumping all over the place

or maybe on Kathy Lee’s head

I think I won’t watch

 

Oprah, Regis and Kathy Lee, Smurfs, and Care Bears

Alvin and the Chipmunks

A stupid movie about a dog, trying to find his ass

No wonder, they all suck

They must all smoke pot

I guess I won’t watch

 

I watch with my eyes closed

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs

The Yogurt Song

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Sung to no song. Entertain yourself and make a tune yourself.

———————

ohhhhhhh

 

this is a story about yogurt!

 

yyyoooo gurt

 

yyyooo gurt

 

it comes from milk that comes from a cow

 

not milk from a dick that comes from a man

 

ooooohhh

 

yyyoooogguurrt

 

yyooo gurt

 

yo yo yo yo gurt

 

it comes from milk that comes from a cow

 

not milk from a dick that comes from a funny little man that was caught in a bear trap in the woods

 

oooonnn

 

Maaarrsss

 

ooooohhhh

 

Iraq sucks dick and everyone knows

 

dat suddam sucks da yogurt that come from milk from a funny little man that was caught in a bear trap in the woods at night

 

oooonnn

 

Maaarrss

 

OOOHH that’s the end of this funny little song

 

that tells the story about yyyooogguurrtt

 

yyoooguurrtt

 

that comes from milk that comes from a cow

 

not milk from a dick that comes from a funny little man that was caught in a bear trap in the woods on Mars during an alien abduction!

 

THEEEE EEEEEEEEENNNNNNDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Enter Peaman

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Parody of “Enter Sandman,” by Metallica

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Say your prayers little one

Don’t forget my son

You got to eat every one

 

I scoop you in

Warm within

Keep you free from him

Till the Peaman, he comes

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth

 

Somethings wrong

Close your mouth

Heavy peas tonight

And they aren’t green beans

 

Dreams of peas

Dreams of poos

Dreams of rusty spoons

And the things that will eat

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth

 

Now i sit me down to eat

Pray that bum my spoon to keep

And if I eat before I die

Pray that bum my peas to fry

 

Hush little baby

Don’t eat that pea

And never mind that pea you dropped

It likes to grow under your feet

And gives you peas for you to eat

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth!

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Poopin’ In Stall Four

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Parody of “Under the Bridge,” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

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Intro

Sometimes I feel like

I got to go poopy

Sometimes I feel like

My only friend

Is the toilet I poop in

The toilet in stall four

No matter what I do

I got to go poop.

 

Verse 1

I poop in the bowl cause

I can’t in the sink

I poop in the stall cause

I am insecure

But when i urinate

In stall number four

I always worry

Cause thats sacralige

 

Chorus

I dont ever want to poop

Like i did that day

Take me to the stall i love

Take me to that stall

I dont ever want to poop

Like i did that day

Take me to the stall I love

Take me to stall four

 

Verse 2

Its hard to belive that

I can’t find a stall four

Its hard to belive that

Theres only one

At least i have its love

The love of my stall four

No matter what i do

I have to go poop

 

Chorus

I dont ever want to poop

Like i did that day

Take me to the stall i love

Take me to that stall

I dont ever want to poop

Like i did that day

Take me to the stall I love

Take me to stall four

 

Outro

Poopin’ in stall four

Is where I could not poop

Poopin’ in stall four

So I took a laxitive

Poopin’ in stall four

Forgot about my pants

Poopin’ in stall Four

I left a big streak mark