Category Archives: (C) Song Parodies

The Way Hamsters Think I Am

Parody of “The Way I Am,” by Eminem

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Whatever…

 

Bro, just let pee run…

 

Hey yo, i’m the person they beat up a little bit…

 

Hey yo, this song is for anyone……that likes hamsters

 

Hey yo…what a stupid phrase

 

I sit back, with this six pack of Pepsi and this bag of these weeds from the garden,

it gives me the shit i need to be the most meanest hamster owner on this…

on this earth…and since birth I’ve been cursed with this cursed hamster

to just curse and just curse these weirdos that like hamsters and bizarre shit like that REALLY works,

and i sell my services and to relieve all this tension, i shoot the hamsters

 

Dispensing these hamsters, getting the bags

that’s been eatin’ my money recently out of my pockets.

 

And I rest again peacefully…

On my stupid little couch in the middle of the room

and ask to just leave me alone when you see freaks like me out

in the streets when I’m eatin’ or feedin’ my ashtray

to not come and donate money to me.

I don’t know you and no, I don’t want your money

i’m not a homeless man. I’m not Mister poor-o.

 

I’m not what your friends think.

I’m not Mister Unfriendly. I can be a crook.

If you tip me in my little empty cup on the corner.

 

No patience is in me and if you offend me,

with 5 little pennies…flyin through the air.

I don’t care who was there and who saw me destroy you.

I’ll, call you a lawyer. Insult your clawed suit.

 

I’ll smile in the courtroom and flick you off, then run like a goat.

I’m tired of all you penny-givers. I don’t want to be mean

but that’s all I can be. thats just the way it is.

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

 

Sometimes I just feel like my mother. I hate to be dead…

with all of this weird things that actually make sense.

 

It’s constant and “Oh, it’s his maniacal jump rope.”

The song “Milky Chocolate” has gotten such rotten responses.

And all of this griping circles me

and it seems like the media immediately

points a finger in my ass…and records it

 

So I point one back at ’em but not the middle or pinky

or the ring or the thumb. It’s the one you put up

when you tell people to “git” when you just put up

with the bullshit they pull ’cause they fill the hamsters full of shit too.

 

When a guy is gettin bullied and shoots up your school with farts

they dont blame it on the telletubbies…and the heroin

where were the parents at? And look at where their hat is…

 

Under America

now it’s a tragedy

now it’s so sad to see

an upper-class hamster

having shit stuck up their ears.

Then attack me, while on the street

’cause I wrap presents this way.

 

But I’m glad ’cause they feed me the rabies

that I need for the fire in the oil drum to burn,

and it’s burnin’ and I have been burned too…

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

 

I’m so sick and tired of not bein’ admired

that I wish that I would just live or get hired

and get droppings from a bird on my nose. Let’s stop with the folding of the tables.

I’m not goin’ to be able to put this on top of a hamster.

And pigeon-holes that keep pooping on me

that got me in rotation around getting kicked out of all the rock-n-roll stations, everyday

 

And I just do not got the patients…

to deal with these stupid hamsters

who think I’m some poonis who just tries to be green

’cause I dont talk with an accent and rip off all my balls.

 

So they always keep askin’ the same fuckin’ questions…

Where did I go to learn this stuff? What did I grow up in?

The why, the who what, when the where and the how

’til I’m grabbin’ their hair and I’m tearin’ it out.

 

You’ve been drivin’ me crazy. I just can’t take it.

I’m slicin’ I’m dicin’. I stand then I sit on a pooing hamster.

And I’m thankful for every hamster that I get to kill

but I can’t take a shit in the bathroom

without worrying about the stain…

 

You knew I won’t put deodorant on

you can call me an asshole, cuz i killed your hamster. I’m glad.

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

 

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

Sometimes I just feel like my mother. I hate to be dead…

with all of this weird things that actually make sense.

 

(end)

POP! Goes the Weasel Part 2

Sung to the original version of the song “POP! Goes the Weasel”

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One day i was hunting through the forest

I saw a weasel

so i popped it in the head!

POP! GOES THE WEASEL!

 

then i saw a monkey trying to chase the weasel

i thought it was trying to take my food

so i popped it in the stomach!

POP! GOES THE MONKEY!

 

I only wish i hadnt shot the monkey!

cuz it was an endangered species!

now im in a jail!

somewhere in the Rainforest!

 

My gun was taken away from me!

Then someone thought they should pop me!

then they shot me in the leg!

POP! GOES THE HUNTER!

 

Then i got mad and kicked them all in the balls!

then i got my gun and popped them all in the head

what a mess…

POP! GOES THE WEIRD RAINFOREST INDIAN PEOPLE!

 

i went home and my wife was thinking about getting a devorse!

then i got my gun and popped her in the boob!

oh boy……i didnt know it was silicone….

POP! GOES MY WIFE’S BOOB!

 

(end)

Gasper, The Smelly Ghost

Parody of “Casper the Friendly Ghost”

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Gasper! The smelly ghost!

the smelliest ghost you know!

what’s that stink?

did someone fart?

 

Nope!

 

Its Gasper, the smelly ghost!

the smelliest ghost you know!

He can beat Pop the Magic Dragon

In one breath, cuz popcorn

makes Gasper burp

like a furp…

 

Cuz he’s…

 

GASPER! The smelly ghost!

the smelliest ghost you know!

he floats all day

and lysol spray

can’t stop him today

 

cuz he’s Gasper, the smelly GHOOOOOOOOOOOOST!

I Watch TV With My Eyes Closed

Parody of “Wendy Clear,” by Blink-182

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I watch TV with my eyes closed

Is there something on that I should watch?

Sounds like Oprah

There must be a hemaphrodite stripping

I think I won’t watch

 

I watch TV with my eyes closed

 

Is there something on that I should watch?

I doubt it, must be Regis and Kathy Lee

They’re probably jumping all over the place

or maybe on Kathy Lee’s head

I think I won’t watch

 

Oprah, Regis and Kathy Lee, Smurfs, and Care Bears

Alvin and the Chipmunks

A stupid movie about a dog, trying to find his ass

No wonder, they all suck

They must all smoke pot

I guess I won’t watch

 

I watch with my eyes closed

Enter Peaman

Parody of “Enter Sandman,” by Metallica

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Say your prayers little one

Don’t forget my son

You got to eat every one

 

I scoop you in

Warm within

Keep you free from him

Till the Peaman, he comes

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth

 

Somethings wrong

Close your mouth

Heavy peas tonight

And they aren’t green beans

 

Dreams of peas

Dreams of poos

Dreams of rusty spoons

And the things that will eat

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth

 

Now i sit me down to eat

Pray that bum my spoon to keep

And if I eat before I die

Pray that bum my peas to fry

 

Hush little baby

Don’t eat that pea

And never mind that pea you dropped

It likes to grow under your feet

And gives you peas for you to eat

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth!

Poopin’ In Stall Four

Parody of “Under the Bridge,” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

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Intro

Sometimes I feel like

I got to go poopy

Sometimes I feel like

My only friend

Is the toilet I poop in

The toilet in stall four

No matter what I do

I got to go poop.

 

Verse 1

I poop in the bowl cause

I can’t in the sink

I poop in the stall cause

I am insecure

But when i urinate

In stall number four

I always worry

Cause thats sacralige

 

Chorus

I dont ever want to poop

Like i did that day

Take me to the stall i love

Take me to that stall

I dont ever want to poop

Like i did that day

Take me to the stall I love

Take me to stall four

 

Verse 2

Its hard to belive that

I can’t find a stall four

Its hard to belive that

Theres only one

At least i have its love

The love of my stall four

No matter what i do

I have to go poop

 

Chorus

I dont ever want to poop

Like i did that day

Take me to the stall i love

Take me to that stall

I dont ever want to poop

Like i did that day

Take me to the stall I love

Take me to stall four

 

Outro

Poopin’ in stall four

Is where I could not poop

Poopin’ in stall four

So I took a laxitive

Poopin’ in stall four

Forgot about my pants

Poopin’ in stall Four

I left a big streak mark