Category Archives: (C) Song Parodies

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

The Hopoate Shuffle

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Parody of “The Curly Shuffle” by Dr. Demento.

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When Hopoate and the Tigers go out on the field
He kicks the footy and he tackles real low
He don’t like the Dragons but likes their dates
So he jams his fingers right in and does the Hopoate shuffle

(Hey Craig! Hey Craig!) Hey Craig! Hey Craig!
(Well, poke, poke, poke, poke!) Well, poke, poke, poke, poke!
(Right up his date, right up his date) Right up his date, right up his date
(Ooh ooh ooh the pain!) Ooh ooh ooh the pain!
Well he never misses the arse so he jams his fingers in and does the Hopoate shuffle

Well Craig Smith and the Dragons hate John Hopoate
He is filthy footballer and should be known as “date fingers”
He gets such a delight to do the plugger and shaker
Ramming his fingers right in and doing the Hopoate Shuffle

(Hey Craig! Hey Craig!) Hey Craig! Hey Craig!
(Well, jab, jab, jab, jab!) Well, jab, jab, jab, jab!
(Right up his clacker, right up his clacker) Right up his clacker, right up his clacker
(Ouch, my arsehole!) Ouch, my arsehole!
Well he never misses the arse so he jams his fingers in and does the Hopoate shuffle

[break]

Well Craig and the Dragons love to see
Hopoate get his arse kicked out of the team
So Hopoate got 12 months suspension
Because he loves to be up-to-date and do the Hopoate Shuffle

(Hey Craig! Hey Craig!) Hey Craig! Hey Craig!
(Well, plug, plug, plug, plug!) Well, plug, plug, plug, plug!
(Right up his bumcrack, right up his bumcrack) Right up his bumcrack, right up his bumcrack
(Piss off brown fingers!) Piss off brown fingers!
Well he never misses the arse so he jams his fingers in and does the Hopoate shuffle
(That’s right)
He does the Hopoate Shuffle (What has he done?)
He does the Hopoate Shuffle (That’s what I thought he done!)
He does the Hopoate Shuffle (Ouch ouch ouch ouch!)
He does the Hopoate Shuffle (Dirty bastard!)
Well he never misses the arse so he jams his fingers in and does the Hopoate shuffle

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Portaloo

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Parody of “Waterloo” by ABBA.

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Well well, at camp we were in need of a portable toilet
Oh yeah, it is illegal to piss and shit in the bushes
So we called up Go Hire
To hire a portalooooooooooooooo

Portaloo – me and my mates were busting to go
Portaloo – our bowels and bladders were totally full
Portaloo – we couldn’t hold off we needed to go
Portaloo – we rang Go Hire to get us one
Portaloo – finally here comes the truck with a portaloo

Well well, we were about to shit and piss ourselves
Oh yeah, we scrambled to get in first and had a fight
And who got in first
It was me and I let it all flyyyyyyyyyyy

Portaloo – me and my mates were busting to go
Portaloo – our bowels and bladders were totally full
Portaloo – we couldn’t hold off we needed to go
Portaloo – we scrambled to get in and had a fight

And who got in first
It was me and I let it all flyyyyyyyyyyy

Portaloo – me and my mates were busting to go
Portaloo – our bowels and bladders were totally full
Portaloo – we couldn’t hold off we needed to go
Portaloo – the last one to get in shit and pissed himself
Portaloo – it was full and reeked of shit

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Let There Be Crocks

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Parody of “Let There Be Rock” by AC/DC.

—————————

In the beginning back in the 1970s
Man didn’t know much about bush survival
Nor wrestling crocs
Steve Irwin was only a kid
Les Hiddins finished serving Vietnam war
Both didn’t know what their future was
But Harry Butler had the news
He said-

“Let there be bush” and there was bush
“Let there be outback” and there was outback
“Let there be bush tucker” and there was bush tucker
“Let there be snakes” and there was snakes
“Let there be crocs”

And it came to pass
That bush survival and croc wrestling was born
All across Australia Steve’n’Les
were trekking in the bush
Les Hiddins became Bush Tucker Man
Steve Irwin became Crocodile Hunter
And they both became TV stars
And got really rich
There were 15 million crocodiles
For Steve Irwin to wrestle
And plenty of bush tucker for Les Hiddins
And this is what they had to say

“Let there be bush”
“Outback”
“Bush tucker”
“Snakes”
“Arrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh let there be crocs”

One day out in the bush Les found some bush tucker
There was a tree full of witchetty grubs and he ate them all
Steve said “CRIKEY” when found a lagoon of crocs
He wrestled them all yelled out loud

“Let there be crooooooooooooooooooooooocks”

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

I’m Too Yobbo

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Parody of “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

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I’m too chauvinistic for my wife, too chauvinistic for my wife
My wife’s gonna leave me
I’m too fat for my stubby shorts, too fat for my stubby shorts
I have plumbers crack
And I’m too pissed to get out of the pub, too pissed to get out of the pub
That’s where I normally stay
And I’m too lazy to have a bath, to lazy to have a bath
I smell of fart and sweat

I’m yobbo, I live on beer and pies
And I love watchin’ footy on TV
Yeah on TV, on TV
I love watchin’ footy on TV

I’m too large for my singlet, too large for my singlet
So large my gut is hanging out
And I’m too lazy to get a job, too lazy to get a job
I bludge on the dole

I’m an yobbo, I wear singlet stubbies and thongs
And I live in the outback of Australia
Yeah the outback of Australia, the outback of Australia
My house is a tin shack in the outback of Australia

I’m too pissed for my, too lazy for my, too smelly for my

‘Cos I’m a yobbo, I drive a Kingswood ute
It is rusty and drive like a bomb
Yeah like a bomb, like a bomb
My ute is rusty and drives like a bomb

I’m too blokey for my mates, too blokey for my mates
I have a thickest Australian accent
I’m too chauvinistic for my wife, too chauvinistic for my wife
My wife’s gonna leave
And I’m too yobbo for this song

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Motel Mexicana

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Parody of “Hotel California” by The Eagles.

–

In a dark musty hallway,a few friends standing there,
Worn shells of fajitas-lying under a chair..
I bumped my head on the big vents,
and watched  the shattering lights..
My hombre said he & his ride moved in-
Their cab had dropped out of sight….

Pepe stood in the doorway..
He smelled like Taco Bell..
And I was drinking by myself
My seagram’s seven and a fifth of cheap ale..

Said he hit up a vandal,and he owed me my pay
There were pesos down his corduroys..
He  robbed his work that day..

Welcome to the Motel Mexicana
Just a grubby place…(just a grubby place)
Such an ugly place..

There’s plenty of gloom at the Motel Mexicana-
Any kind of beer,you can buy it here..

The wine is simply unfit it’s-
Not for your eighty friends..
We knocked a lot of greedy,greedy boys..
Then we  paid rent.

Howie glanced at the floor:”Are,
theeeeeeeeese summer ants?”
Jose said:”no remember.”
Juan said:”I forget..”

So I called to the fat man:
“Pleeeeeeeease bring me more lime..”
He said:”We haven’t had that citrus here since,
Fried beans hit the sign..”

And grilled ‘ole oysters were falling
From Carlo’s tray..
They shake you up in the middle of the night-
Just to hurl away..

Welcome to the Motel Mexicana
Just a grubby place..(such a grubby place)
Such an ugly place…(ugly place)

They piggin’ it up at the Motel Mexicana
Lotta mice ….surprise!
They sing you lullabies…

Roaches on the ceiling..
They drink my warm Bud Ice..
The flea bed-
And my guitar keep me prisoner here..
With my spanish rice.

And in the bathroom chamber,
They’d rather horde in peace..
I grab them but they run for their life..
But you just can’t kill these fleas!!

That Spring I remember..
This guy was,spraying down my door..
Had I the mind,had I turned my back,
My face-they’d have gnawed to the floor..
“Step back,” said the bug man..
“We are now going to leave..
Make your check out anyway you like..
Just make it out to me…”

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Yobbo’s Paradise

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Parody of “Gangster’s Paradise” by Coolio

————————–

As I walk to the pub where to get pissed with my mates
I take look at my Kingswood ute and realize it’s a rusty bomb
But that’s just perfect for a yobbo like me
Because it’s has room in the back for slabs of VB
On Friday night I’m watchin’ footy on TV
While drinkin’ VB and eating meat pies… Oi!
And I’ve been a chauvinistic pig for so long that
My wife has divorced me and is now long gone
I’m the bloke of my house, it’s always a mess
Cigarette butts on the floor and beer cans on the couch
I never take a shower nor brush my teeth
I’m 45 years old a living like a pig

We’ve spent most our lives
Living in a yobbos paradise
I get shitfaced at the pub every night
Living in a yobbos paradise
I do some hard yakka once or twice
Living in a yobbos paradise
I live on beer and pies
Living in a yobbos paradise

I’ve been driving my mates around in my ute last week
They were in the back tray with a fews slab of VB
We were heading to the footy, to watch the game
Footy is our religion and the church is the game
I’ve never had a job, I’ve been bludgin’ on the dole
A yobbo in a tuxedo? You know that’s unheard of
I wear a shearers singlet and stubby shorts
And my mates all agree I look cool wearing thongs… Oi!
My backyard dunny is so pongy that you’ll suffocate to tears
I haven’t cleaned the bloody thing in 25 years
We are very uncultured and don’t give a shit
We’re also hygienically impaired

There’s no computer, no widescreen TV, no DVD
Not a single piece of modern technology
Just a 1970s colour TV
To watch the footy and drink a VB

We’ve spent most our lives
Living in a yobbos paradise
My house is infested rats and flies
Living in a yobbos paradise
I hate the new age guys
Living in a yobbo’s paradise
I change my jocks maybe once or twice
Living in a yobbos paradise

Drinkin’ slabs of VB, eating lots of meat pies
I’m growing a beer gut, and I tell lots of lies
Think you’re really lazy? Think you’re a bargearse?
Well, after I shit in the dunny I never wipe my arse
I’m the typical Australian ocker with a thick Aussie accent
Everytime I’m on the piss I go off my rocker
So don’t expect favours from me and don’t put me off
Otherwise I’ll have to tell you to “piss off”

We’ve spent most our lives
Living in a yobbos paradise
I watch footy on TV Friday nights
Living in a yobbos paradise
I mow the lawn maybe once or twice
Living in a yobbos paradise
My hair is full of lice
Living in a yobbos paradise

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Moo Moo Moo Moo

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Parody of “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” by The Crash Test Dummies.

———————-

Once there was this cow who
Was on heat and broke into the bull paddock
And when she finally came back
She had a family of 675 calves
It was from when
She mated with all the bulls

Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo

Once there was this bull who
Was teased by some stupid hick farmer
And when the farmer wasn’t looking
The bull charged up and bucked him hard
The farmer was rushed to hospital
With bull horns stuck in his buttcheeks

Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo

Both bull and cow had their fun
Having calves and bucking stupid farmers

And then there was this calf who
Had malfunctioning bowels and couldn’t stop shitting
And when it was grazing season
The paddock was absolutely covered in cow patties
The farmer made big bucks
Selling cow manure

Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

AC/DC – Big Balls Parody

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Parody of “Big Balls” by AC/DC.

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Well I’m horny horny pimp class society
God’s gift to big ball notoriety
And I always take my sex pills
So my balls are never small
The chicky babes say I’ve got
The biggest balls of all

I’ve got big balls
I’ve got big balls
They’re such big balls
And they’re hairy big balls
That guy’s got big balls
This guy’s got big balls
(But I’ve got the biggest balls of them all)

And my balls are always bouncing
While I’m bonking a chick
And my penis cums and cums again
If your name is on my sex list
No one can do you better
Every chick says I’ve got
Big balls of pleasure

I’ve got big balls
I’ve got big balls
They’re such big balls
And they’re hairy big balls
That guy’s got big balls
This guy’s got big balls
(But I’ve got the biggest balls of them all)

Some balls are small as penuts
And most are normal sized
But when they’re huge as beach balls
They’re my balls under my pants
My balls are always bouncing
While I’m bonking my chicks
It’s my belief that my big balls
Should attract all the chicks

I’ve got big balls
I’ve got big balls
I’ve got big balls
Hairy big balls
They’ve got big balls
He’s got big balls
(But I’ve got the biggest balls of them all)

(I’ve got big balls)
(I’ve got big balls)

And they’re just itching with VD rashes
Oh I had such wonderful fun
Genital warts, crabs, the clap
(I’ve got the biggest balls of them all)

(Ball scratching)
(Ball scratching)
(Ball scratching)
(Ball scratching)

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Slipknot – Duality Parody

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Parody of “Duality” by Slipknot.

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I push my fingers into my butt
It’s the only thing that slowly makes me poop
But it’s made of all the shit I ate for lunch
Jesus, it never ends, it works it’s way outside
If the pain goes on…
Aaaaaaaah!

I have shit until my veins collapsed
I’ve waited last, my time’s elapsed
Now, All I do is live with so much crap
I’ve shit on this, I’ve shit on that
I’ve left behind this little turd:
You cannot shit what you did not eat
I’ve gotta shit when I’ve gotta shit
And then I swear I’ll shit some more
But I can’t promise you’ll enjoy the noise
I guess I’ll save the best for last
My future seems like on big shit
You’ll live with me ‘And smell my rancid shit

I push my fingers into my butt
It’s the only thing that slowly makes me poop
If the pain goes on,
I’m not gonna make it!

Pull me back together
Or separate the poop from butt
Leave me all the Pieces, and then I can leave you some shit
Tell me that the corn filled poop is better than dream
But I found out the hard way,
You gotta remain regular

I push my fingers into my butt
It’s the only thing that slowly makes me poop
But it’s made of all the shit I had for lunch
Jesus, it never ends, it works it’s way outside
If the pain goes on,
I’m not gonna make it!

All I’ve got…all I’ve got is poopie
All I’ve got…all I’ve got is poopie
All I’ve got…all I’ve got is poopie
All I’ve got…all I’ve got is poopie

I push my fingers into my butt
It’s the only thing that slowly makes me poop
But it’s made of all the shit I had for lunch
Jesus, it never ends, it works it’s way outside
If the pain goes on,
I’m not gonna make it!

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Bloke

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Parody of “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks.  Parody by Chris Franklin.

—————————————

I hate the new age guys
I’m a chauvinist
I live on beer and pies
Tried to tell ya
But you look at me like maybe I’m an angel
underneath
Hehe, don’t brush my teeth

Yesterday I lied
But all me mates gave me a real good alibi
Thanks guys
(No worries, mate)

I really went out drinking
I told you I was at work
Don’t ask me for commitment
Because it’s something I will shirk

CHORUS 1:
I’m a bloke, I’m an ocker
And I really love your knockers
I’m a labourer by day
I piss up all me pay
Watching footy on T.V.
Just feed me more V.B.
Just pour my beer and get my smokes and
go away

Or take me as I am
This may mean you’ll have to fetch another can
Rest assured if I start to make you breakfast
I’m going to extremes
But tomorrow I’ll get shit-faced
And today won’t mean a thing

CHORUS 2:
I’m a bloke, I’m a yobbo
And me best mate’s name is Robbo
Winfield is me cigarette
I dress in flannelette
Shearer’s singlet that is blue
Throw in a few tattoos
You know you wouldn’t want me any other
way

When you think you’ve got me figured out
The season’s already changing
(From footy to cricket)
I think it’s cool when I act like a tool
And me mates try to shave me

I’m a bloke, I’m an ocker
And I really love your knockers
I’m a labourer by day
I piss up all me pay
Watching footy on T.V.
Just feed me more V.B.
Just pour my beer and get my smokes and
go away

Oi!

I’m a bloke, I’m a yobbo
And me best mate’s name is Robbo
Winfield is me cigarette
I dress in flannelette
Shearer’s singlet that is blue
Throw in a few tattoos
You know you wouldn’t want me any other
way

(C) Song Parodies, Poetry and Songs

Postman Pat

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Parody of “Breakdown” by Jack Johnson.

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Anyways here’s the parody:

I hope my post van breaks down
Then I could take a vacation
And, go down to Bognor beach
And relax in the hot sun
(Postman Pat theme song playing)
But all the people in the town
Are waiting for their letters and parcels
I just drive through town
Deliver letters and parcels
From the back of my red van
The work load is getting too much now
So for now I

I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown

Well I work twelve hour shifts
I get really bloody tired
So I wish this post van breaks down
Because it’s gonna get me a ticket out town
(Postman Pat theme song playing)
But all the people in the town
Want their letters and parcels now
If I don’t get them all out
I will get the sack
And without a pay check
Will be broke as a bum
So I

I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown

I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown

I want a vacation
But gotta work now
Please van break on down

(Postman Pat theme song playing)
But I am postman Pat
With my black’n’white cat
Must be a happy man
But have a frowny face
I’m sick of my job
Working twelve hour shifts
All day every day
Need to get away
I can’t stop wishing
To be in Bognor
On the beach in the sun
And the chicks, and the sea
I keep on working
Put that thought on hold
But thought’s too strong
And it’s driving me mad

I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown
I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown
I want a vacation
But have to work now

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Billy Gunn Mr Ass Theme Parody

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Parody of WWE’s Billy Gunn “Mr. Ass” theme.

————————

Gunn’s an ass man
Yeah Bill’s an ass man…

Yeahhhhhhh

He loves to love ‘em, he loves to lick ‘em
He loves to squeeze ‘em, he loves to fuck ‘em
Loves to smack ‘em, he loves to feel ‘em
He loves to pinch ‘em, and he’s gonna fuck ‘em

Cause Gunn’s an assman, yeah, Bill’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman, ohh oh oh
He’s an assman

So many asses, so little time
A big hairy one, can stop him on the dime
He’s a lover, of the gayest kind
The best surprises always fuck him from behind

Gunn’s an assman, yeahhhhhhhh, Bill’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman, ohh oh oh
He’s an assman

Buns of muscle, buns of hair
Your browneye gives away the truth of how Bill feels
Gunn walks behind you, you feel the pain
That’s why the guys don’t let Billy walk behind them

Gunn’s an assman, yeahhhhhhhh, Bill’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman, ohh oh oh

He loves to love ‘em, he loves to lick ‘em
He loves to squeeze ‘em, he loves to fuck ‘em
(*ECHO* HE *ECHO*) Loves to smack ‘em, he loves to feel ‘em
He loves to pinch ‘em, and he’s gonna fuck ‘em

Gunn’s an assman, yeahhhhhhhh, Bill’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman, ohh oh oh
Cause he’s an assman
Yeahhhhhhhh, Bill’s an ass ,am
Yes, Gunn’s an assman, yeahhhhhhhh
He’s an assman, ohh oh oh
He’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman
Cause he’s an assman
Yeahhhhhhhh, Billy Gunn’s an assman

*Music Fades*

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Pot Pot Pot

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Parody of “Hot Hot Hot” by Arrow

———————

All day, all day, all day, all day
All day, all day, all day, all day
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Me lightin’ my fire
Me get-a higher
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Hippy people
Stoned around me
Smoking pot, pot, pot

What to do on a day like this?
Pot is sweet, I can’t resist
I need an Orchy bong
With grass and rubber hose

So let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
All day, all day, all day, all day
All day, all day, all day, all day

Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Halluuuuuucinating
Whiiiiiiiiile inhaling
Smoking pot, pot, pot

See a spirit
Whiiiiiile you smoke it
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Smoke in the air, hallucination time
Let the smoke dominate your mind
I have this Orchy bong
With grass and rubber hose

So let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
All day, all day, all day, all day
All day, all day, all day, all day

Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

He Likes To Wank It

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Parody of “I Like to Move It Move It”

—————————

He likes to wank it wank it
He likes to wank it wank it
He likes to wank it wank it
He likes to (wank it)

He likes to stroke it stroke it
He likes to stroke it stroke it
He likes to stroke it stroke it
He likes to (stroke it)

He likes to spank it spank it
He likes to spank it spank it
He likes to spank it spank it
He likes to (spank it)

He likes to tug it tug it
He likes to tug it tug it
He likes to tug it tug it
He likes to (tug it)

He likes to yank it yank it
He likes to yank it yank it
He likes to yank it yank it
He likes to (yank it)

He likes to whack it whack it
He likes to whack it whack it
He likes to whack it whack it
He likes to (whack it)

He likes to squeeze it squeeze it
He likes to squeeze it squeeze it
He likes to squeeze it squeeze it
He likes to (squeeze it)

He likes to pull it pull it
He likes to pull it pull it
He likes to pull it pull it
He likes to (pull it)

He likes to bat it bat it
He likes to bat it bat it
He likes to bat it bat it
He likes to (bat it)

He likes to play it play it
He likes to play it play it
He likes to play it play it
He likes to (play it)

He likes to belt it belt it
He likes to belt it belt it
He likes to belt it belt it
He likes to (belt it)

He likes to slap it slap
He likes to slap it slap
He likes to slap it slap
He likes to (slap it)

(C) Song Parodies, Poetry and Songs

The Real Saddam Hussein

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Parody of “The Real Slim Shady” by Eminem

—————————-

May I have your attention please……

May I have your attention please…..

Will the real Saddam Hussein please stand up

I repeat, will the real Saddam Hussein please stand up

Where not gonna have a resolution here

 

You act like youve never seen a terrorist before

Start kicking his ass

First for the guns

Second spanking his ass over the furniture

 

Its the return of a regiem

No way

You kidding?

Did he say what I think he did

Did he?

And Bin Laden said?

Nothing you idiot,

Bin Laden’s dead

Bush blew his head off in the basement

 

Dont terrorist just love Saddam

Sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, Sadam Im sick of him

Look at himblowing up countries, wanking over Arafat and you know who

But his mostache is so cute though

 

Yeah I probably got a few bombs in my pants

But no worse than what goes on in Blairs bedroom

Sometimes when I go on tv I want to shoot one of my doubles

But I cant caus Id get found out

 

Bin Ladens on my lips, Bin Ladens on my lips

And maybe, I might blow him a lil kiss

 

And the message we deliver to Iraq

To go into restaurants and blow themselves up

 

Caus I Saddam Hussein yes Im the real Saddam Hussein

Yo you other 8 doubles are just imitating

So wont the real Saddam Hussein please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

 

Cause I’m Saddam Hussein yes I’m the real Saddam Hussein

Yo you other 8 doubles are just imitating

So wont the real Saddam Hussein please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up.