A man in a department store said to a clerk, “I would like a fur coat for my wife.”
The clerk said, “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t exchange!”
Category Archives: (C) Offensive Jokes
Jokes that are more or less offensive.
Joke #12390
Did you hear about the rich Texan who bought his dog a boy?
Joke #12386
A husband looking at his checkbook was heard to say to his wife, “I figured it out. Right now I have enough money to last us the rest of our lives. Of course if I buy something, that’s a different story.”
Joke #12385
Is my wife a good cook? Ha! I know garbage disposals that eat better than I do.
Joke #12383
LITTLE JIMMY: “My father can beat your father.”
LITTLE TIMMY: “Big deal. Even my mother can beat my father.”
Joke #12380
FIRST MAN: “I got married because I got tired of eating restaurant food, washing my own laundry, and wearing clothes with holes in them.”
SECOND MAN: “That’s funny! I got divorced for the same reasons.”
Joke #12373
NEWLYWED HUSBAND: “My doctor told me if I want to stay healthy, I’d better go on a long fast. He must know the way my wife cooks.”
Joke #12372
When I got married, my wife didn’t take me for better or worse. She took me for everything I had.
Joke #12371
You know your marriage is on the rocks when your spouse uses your marriage certificate to swat flies.
Joke #12370
Talk about lazy! My husband taught our poodle how to roller skate so he wouldn’t have to walk the dog.
Joke #12369
I just came back from a pleasure trip. I drove my mother-in-law to the airport.
Joke #12367
When it comes to gossip, my wife is like a skilled surgeon. She’s always cutting people down to size.
Joke #12366
Two men met by the office water cooler. The first said, “I’m going to Yellowstone Park next week.”
The other man said, “That’s swell. Don’t forget to see Old Faithful.”
The first man took a sip of water and replied, “See it? I’m taking her with me.”
Joke #12365
My wife is what’s known as a clumsy confidant. Tell her a secret and she ends up spilling beans.
Joke #12364
LADY: “Did your daughter take it to heart when her fiancé asked for the engagement ring back?”
FATHER: “No. She took it to court.”