A gal looked her blind date up and down and said, “I’d like you better if you were tall, dark and handsome.”
The blind date looked her up and down and replied, “If I were tall, dark and handsome, I wouldn’t be out with you!”
Category Archives: (C) Misogyny Jokes
Joke #12881
EXPLAIN THIS: A man who takes money out of a man’s pocket without permission is a pickpocket. A woman who takes money out of a man’s pockets without permission is a wife.
Joke #12873
I can tell you how Mr. Webster began his dictionary. One night Noah got into an argument with his wife and one word led to another.
Joke #12862
I heard a story about a husband whose wife was never pleased with any present he bought her. So one Christmas he decided to give her cash as a gift. Naturally, she exchanged it for something else.
Joke #12861
Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? She got married eight times because she wanted to keep recycling husbands.
Joke #12855
A man should never marry a pretty woman. He should always marry an ugly woman. If a man marries a pretty woman and in a few months she gets tired of him and she runs off, he’s heartbroken. An ugly woman might run away too, but who cares?
Joke #12850
SALLY: “I just can’t find the man who’ll make me the perfect husband.”
TILLIE: “Maybe you’re asking too much.”
SALLY: “Nonsense! Al I’m looking for is a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?”
Joke #12847
“I just got a role in a movie,” an actor said to his agent. “I play a hen-pecked husband married to a woman who lives with her mother and four teenaged daughters.”
“That’s nice,” said the agent. “But too bad it’s not a speaking part.”
Joke #12844
JUDY: “I’ll have you know I can marry anyone I please.”
SALLY: “That may be, but you don’t please anyone.”
Joke #12839
ATTENTION LADY SOFTBALL PLAYERS: Watch your curves!
Joke #12835
GOLFER #1: “My wife said she’d divorce me if I don’t give up playing golf.”
GOLFER #2: “Wow! That’s tough. What did you do?”
GOLFER #1: “I haven’t missed an alimony payment or a golf game yet.”
Joke #12834
At a basketball game, a gal asked her boyfriend, “Jerry, what is that guy doing?”
He answered, “He’s dribbling.”
She looked shocked and said, “Someone should give him a hanky!”
Joke #12829
WIFE: “You play golf every weekend and I’m getting tired of it. If you spent a whole weekend home with me, I think I’d drop dead!”
MAN: “Stop trying to bribe me!”
Joke #12803
BILL: “Wanda isn’t that bad-looking. She does have even teeth.”
WILL: “True! It”s the odd ones that are missing.”
Joke #12797
Q: What do you get if you cross a woman with a goat?
A: A lady who’s always butting into other people’s affairs.