(sexy music is playing)

(the camera pans slowly to the left, and you see two people’s bare legs on top of each other on a couch, moving around)

 

Lady: oh baby, I just love it when you stick it in…

 

Guy: shut up bitch, I’m not paying you to talk!

 

(the camera zooms out, and you see the guy is actually painting someone)

(scene cuts to a kid’s face)

 

Kid: what the fuck?

 

(scene cuts to a painter-type looking guy with a goatee)

 

Jain Starling: hello, I’m a painter. I’m here to tell you about Whore Paint Supplies. I don’t actually endorse these products, but money can make you do anything, in this economy with rising gas, food, and prostitute prices. Here at Whore Paint Supplies you can buy many many things. Including, you guessed it, PAINT!

 

(cuts to Jain Starling walking down an aisle)

 

Jain Starling: paint is sooo good I love it, because I’m a painter! But there is a very special aisle, just for paint that you can pain WHORES with! I find it kind of arousing myself, because I love paint, and I love whores! You just put one on each other and I just get so—OH MY GOD!

 

(Jain Starling drops his pants and reaches down his underwear)

(technical difficulties comes on right away….for 10 minutes)

 

Jain Starling: ok…I’m finished…

 

(but then MAW (Mothers Against Whores) busts through the door of Whore Paint Supplies)

 

Jain Starling: sacré bloo!

 

Soccer Mom: DESTROY! Whores are the DEVIL! WE Don’t care about their financial state nor the fact they may be drug addicts or have another problem, and would rather kill them than help them, because our husbands are the ones bringing in the money, and all WE do is shop and bitch! LIKE NOW!

 

Robot Mom: shop and bitch. Shop and bitch! Oooh….I like this paint, but the price is so HIGH!

 

Jain Starling: FUCK! RUNNNNNN!!!

 

(Milllions (its seems at least) of mothers storm the building with pitchforks, stabbing every man and whore in sight)

 

Camera Man: oh fuck oh fuck!

 

(the camera man is running, so you see the screen shaking around. But then Soccer Mom takes out a shotgun and shoots. Screen goes snowy)

(technical difficulties)

(end)