Scluckle Episode 3

The Cast:


Narrator ((speaking in the ( ) ))
















cako the portuguese porker


taco homless-man




((Scluckle are all in a subway store. They have a new member who is well known for his subway diet (LOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSER) and is only known under codename as “Osama bin Jared”. He is in a custume with and obviously fake beard and glasses with a towel on his head (no not wrapped around his head, just a towel laying on his head). He is in a bathrobe trying to play off some middle eastern guy. The sluckle people surround him.


jamescrapbond: so…you want to be hired?


ear: do you have what it takes?


MyRightTesticle: Are you gay? just askin…if you are…i know…a friend…who…needs…a…date…


Osama bin Jared (in a middle easter accent): Oh yes i am very very gooo-da.

I kick squackle butt. I have plan, secret secret plans.


Watson: I say hire his ass.


elmaismad: we need ideas, my dick isn’t workin anymore…wheres my apple juice?


jamescrapbond: fine, your hire. elmaismad, go on vacation and take the mandatory vodka and viagra with you.


elmaismad: ok bye


((he leaves))


jamescrapbond: now, tell us this secret plan.


Osama bin Jared: First we must eat many many sandwiches until we are plump and fat like a camel hump. Then we must eat more like the thousand arabian knights who rescued Princess Flabula from the evil fast food restaurants. Then we must pray to the goddess of Suba-VVay and ask her for forgiveness and greatfullness and for a nice and long subway sandwich. Then our plan will be in effect.


nose: i like subway


((jamescrapbond slaps nose with a subway sandwich))


jamescrapbond: cool these things are good for something.


Osama bin Jared: No no no, no whackin, more eatin. eat eat eat like the feast of the goddes Sub-VVay.


((jamescrapbond sits on the sandwich))


jamescrapbond: nice seat too! WHO’S UP FOR A GAME OF BASEBALL!


((MyRightTesticle throws a ball and jamescrapbond hits the ball using the sandwich as a bat. The ball hits Osama bin Jared and knocks his costume off. Oh My God, It’s Jared dresssing up like a bootleg Osama Bin Laden and selling his subway sandwiches!


Jared: Damnit!


((the scluckle people surround him ready to beat him up when he stops them))


Jared: WAIT! ((he pulls out a small remote with a single button on it.)) If I press this button it will destroy Squackle, your arch nemisis!


cako the portuguese porker: umm…lets just beat him up and take the button?


taco homeless-man: sounds great


((they all grab subway sandwiches and beat him to a pulp with the sandwiches, while Jared is screaming: “SUBWAYYYYYYYYYY I HAVE FAILED YOOOOOOUUUUU! I LOVE YYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU”))


renismyname: I’ll press the button


((he presses the button. Suddenly the subway building there in opens in half and a subway sandwich the size of a building pulled out from underneath the building. The sandwich is wheat bread with a lot of cheese, nuclear missles and canadian bacon along with chile. WHAT A DEADLY COMBINATION! The Sandwich launches into the air. The building returns to normal. ))


Jared: It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Only 2 grams of fa-


((all the scluckle people continue beating him. Meanwhile at the Squackle lab of underwear investigation, the wedgie alarm goes off and alerts everyone that an incoming skidmark (slang term for missle) is coming in. stimpyismyname calls on Dacky! to help out! Dacky! flies into the air and with a few big bites, eats the sandwich. He then flies to the subway the scluckle is in and makes a large LARGE fart. The whole scluckle team is blown out in different directions. Jared was severly hurt by the blast and had his arms and legs replaced by subway sandwiches. Osama bin Laden sued Jared for copying him but then Dacky! killed Osama bin laden while he was eating a sandwhich at subway.))


((The End))


((Don’t Do Drugs))


Jared* – Fresh and New and fresh And New!

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