Twiggs Cereal

Two kids are standing in a Forrest, at midnight, eating a bowl of Twigg’s cereal as a hippopotamus is hiding behind a tree, listening in on the kids.


Little Jimmy: “Yum this Twigg’s cereal sure is good…it has the real taste of wood with a hint of pine cone!”


Little Susie: “It’s a good thing that we decided to walk out in the Forrest at midnight and eat our Twigg’s cereal, especially with all those serial killers and priests walking around!”


The hippopotamus hiding behind the tree whispers to the TV screen.


Hippopotamus: “I’m going to dress up as a Priest so I can get some Twigg’s cereal!”


He dresses up as a priest behind the tree and he walks over to the kids.


Hippopotamus: “Hey kids! How about letting me get into the Twigg’s cereal! I’ve been at Children’s Ass…I mean Mass all day…boy it’s exhausting!”


Little Jimmy: “Sure thing Mrs. Priest Ma’am!”


Little Jimmy hands the ‘priest’ a bowl of Twigg’s cereal.


Hippopotamus: “Finally the great taste of the Forrest in one bowl of cereal! That woody pine cone flavor putting splinters into my mouth as I scream in pain!”


He starts dancing and he trips over a log and falls down, his priest clothing falling off, revealing his true fat self!!!!!


Little Susie: “It’s the hippo…hippo…hippotumas…eh however the fuck you say it…”


Hippopotamus: “Hippo – pot – thomas”


Little Jimmy: “You ludicrous hippopotamus, Twigg’s are for preadolescent homo sapiens!”


Hippopotamus: “Oh fuck! I mean…Oh Darn!”


The kids start laughing at him as he stands up and they take away his bowl of Twigg’s cereal. The Hippopotamus growls angrily and eats Little Jimmy in one bite.




Hippopotamus: “Come here BITCH!”


Little Susie starts running away and the Hippopotamus follows as they run off screen and then you hear bloody screams and things getting ripped to shreds as you see shoes and clothing and a few arms and legs fly by the screen. The scene ends when the bloody screams end and you hear a loud belch.


“Twiggs Cereal…part of your complete morning wood.”

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