DBC News Broadcast 3

Now top stories with David…

Weather with Daveed…

Sports with Davis…

A few words with Fiddlesticks…

and The Special Guest Corner with Binky the Clown.


Now for the top stories… David: 1. A reporter from DBC took a survey on crime in L.A and the best response is, “You IDIOT!!!!! Give me your wallet!!!!! Hey!!!! No pictures!!!!!


Davis: Anybody would do anything for publicity these days.


David: I just happened to have my gun today so lay off!!!


Security System: Red Alert, Red Alert, Security has been breached!!!!


Billy Burnyourhousedown: All right you lousy punks give me all your money!!!!!


David: That’s it I’m pissed off now!!!


(David pulls out his gun and shoots Billy and Billy gets hit with the bullet)


Billy: Aaaghhhh…… am I supposed to die now??


Producer: I don’t care as long as you don’t take my money!!!


David: Hey!!! He’s been holdin’ out on us!!!


Davis: Speak for yourself!! I’m rollin’ in the dough!!!


Binky: Grrrrrr…


Davis: Don’t be growlin’ at me foo’!!!!!!


Willy Burnyourhousedown: Who shot my bro?????


David: Me, you wanna make somethin’ of it??? I just happen to have my assault rifle so you better get your *** outta here, before I load it!!!!!!


Willy: Well, I brought my grenade launcher for just such an occasion.


David: Well, I just happen to have my tank outback in the parking lot.


Willy (with a nervous look on his face): I’m outta here!!! I’ll be back!!!


David (muttering): Not if I can help it.


(David gets up and leaves without anybody knowing)


Davis: Ha Ha!!! Nice bluff David… Hey!!?? Where’d he go?!?


(suddenly a sound of a tank started up)


Daveed: What’s that????


Fiddlesticks: The parentheses said a tank started up.


Willy (from outside): AAAAAAGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(a few seconds later David comes in)


David: Well… No more arsonists are going to coming here anymore!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha, well I guess we can go to sports now…


Davis: Now for the sports…1. Yesterday Daveed won the fight against Fiddlesticks. And that’s about it.


Binky: Now for The Special Guest Corner!!!!! We go behind the scenes of DBC to see our director………her name’s Natalya………………


(phone rings)


Natalya: Hello… Bobby, Bobby, Bobby what am I going to do with you?… I can’t believe you did that… No I don’t want to go to bed with you!!… As a matter of fact I already have a boyfriend… You do too?? You gay monster!! I should take you out and beat you… you slug head!!… Good bye Bobby!!!… I don’t care if you have $999,999,999 billion plus tax!!! Wait a minute did you say

$999,999,999 billion plus tax?… OK I’ll stop by tonight.


(she hangs up and phone rings again)


Natalya: Hello… Oh hi Nate!!… Yes I’ll go to bed with you tomorrow, good bye.


(she hangs up and phone rings again)


Natalya: Hello… yes I’m head of The Prostitute service. Next week?? OK


(she hangs up and the phone rings again)


Natalya: This is 1-800-HONEY, what time should I pick you up? 5:00 is fine, see you then


(she hangs up)


David: Hey guys, I’m gonna prank call her.


Daveed: You go girl!!!!!


(phone rings)


Natalya: Hello.


David: Hello Natalya this is Bond, James Bond, you know shaken not stirred.


Natalya: James??? I haven’t talked to you since the Goldeneye thing. How’s everything at Mi6????


David: Oh you know M still thinks I’m a nut who likes fast cars and women, which I do. Q is bugging me with all these new inventions. Moneypenny is bugging me so much I had sex with her so she could shutup!!!


Natalya: Good, Good


Daveed: Hey I got a phone too!!! I’ll call her also!


Natalya: Wait a second I got another call… Hello.


Daveed: Bwoinaz Diaz señorita!!!


Natalya: And bees in disease to you too, you Mexican pervert and I’m tracing this call!!! Hello James… Oh I got another call.


Daveed: Hello Natalya. I am General Akardy Ourmov.


Natalya: Not you!!!


Daveed: Remember what we did in the train a couple years ago??


Natalya: I put that behind me you… you… selfish beast!… Hello James… God, I got another call!!!


Daveed: I am the Ghost of Christmas Past!!!


Natalya: Good for you!!!… Hello James… Man!!! I got another freakin’ call!!!


Daveed: Hell…


Natalya: Shutup!!! I’m on the other line can’t you see???


Daveed: No… I’m blind.


Natalya: Shutup!!!!… Hello James. AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! I got another call!!!!!

Will it ever end James???? Wait a minute!!! Hey!!! That’s my car!!!! Why are you towing it away?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


David: Natalya?? Oh well.


Daveed: It’s -100 degrees Fahrenheit!!! I can just see Natalya out there chasing her car!!!!


David: Yeah!!! And that’s all from DBC!!!!


Fiddlesticks: I’m Egyptian!!!


Fiddlesticks: I’M EGYPTIAN


Everybody: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!


Fiddlesticks: OK


David: Now is that it????


Davis: No… we gotta sing the Lamb Chop’s Play Along song now!!!!!


Fiddlesticks: I like lamb chops for lunch!!!!!


Producer: You don’t have to sing it.


David: All right!!!! That’s it from…


Producer: You have to sing the Barney song.






David: That’s it Mr. Producer Man either you give us a raise and for us not to sing I won’t blow your guts out with my rifle!!!!!!!


Producer: You don’t have to sing it!! You don’t have to sing it!! And I’ll give you a 50 cent raise.


David: Now that’s better… and that’s it from DBC!!!!! Finally…



Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.