Microwave Popcorn Theory

How long does it take to get all the popcorn’s popped? After serious amounts of time waisted and a series of failed expirements resulting in the kitchen flooded with Gas of burnt popcorn, I have finally waisted all my time to finally conclude this: Nothing. I have realized over and over that there is no possible way to get all the popcorns popped. Microwave popcorn is the number one cause for house fires and heart attacks and syphillis or insanity. Yes it’s true. There has been also some evidence in Bosnia and Britain that Microwave Popcorn causes the Ebola Virus. Anyways what the popcorn does is it spends about 3:00 minutes of your life watching a stupid thing inflate. This causes you to have anxiety to jump in the microwave, eat the popcorn and get severly burnt.

Also the “Popping” sound isn’t what you think it is. It’s actually a secret code thats transferred to your body. This code says to your body: “Cho mama is so fat, she brushes her teeth wit BUTTER.” Now your body gets all mad and trys to fight it off and shut it up. This causes you to go insane or get syphillis. I’m already insane so I wasn’t affected by the popcorns evil deeds. Beware, the popcorn has something popin up! Get it? Something Popin’ up? You don’t get it do you? Forget it, it’s over your head….

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.