#6442: Holmes -> davepoobond

Note: this was before all these movies came out…this actual conversation took place around 2003/2004, so you can see a lot of these things came true or changed a little bit


Holmes: sup

davepoobond: not much

davepoobond: they’re making a Home Alone 4

Holmes: …

Holmes: o…

davepoobond: and American Pie 3

Holmes: my….

Holmes: god

davepoobond: and a prequel to Dumb and Dumber

davepoobond: with steve THE DELL GUY

davepoobond: as jeff daniels

davepoobond: and i dont know whos jim carrery

davepoobond: carrey



davepoobond: jim carrey sold out

davepoobond: “i dont wanna do any comedies anymore”

Holmes: ….

Holmes: thats bull shit

Holmes: he’s a natural comedian

davepoobond: i know

davepoobond: but no more he says

Holmes: so basically he quit acting

davepoobond: the majestic wasnt even a comedy

Holmes: because jim carrey is no action hero or drama person

davepoobond: and they’re making Spy Hunter as a movie, with vin diesel

Holmes: omg

davepoobond: oh wait

davepoobond: not vin diesel

davepoobond: the rock


davepoobond: hehe

davepoobond: they’re both the same

davepoobond: i’m gonna give u a heart attack huh

Holmes: yes

davepoobond: and i also think they’re gonna make a sequel to Dude, Where’s my car?

davepoobond: but its not gonna have either of them i think

Holmes: ::can’t take it anymore and just dies::

davepoobond: its gonna be different people, and its gonna be “Dude, where’s my van?”

davepoobond: or something

Holmes: ::dies again::

Holmes: and terminator 3

Holmes: is coming out

davepoobond: yeah but everyone already knows about that

Holmes: Analyze That

Holmes: and Meet The Fockers

davepoobond: really?

Holmes: yes

Holmes: really

davepoobond: that’ll be funny

davepoobond: meet the fockers

Holmes: oh wait

Holmes: Title Note: (7/12/02) Even though Ben Stiller’s character in the first movie was credited with the last name of “Focker”, “Variety” announced today that the title is not “Meet the Fockers” as has been widely reported, but actually “Meet the Fokkers.” It sounds to me like Universal (or someone) was concerned that they couldn’t actually release a film that was just *one* letter away from the “F” word. Two letters, though, must be okay

Holmes: lmao

Holmes: thats hilarious

davepoobond: two letters must be ok

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: it HAS to be

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: have you seen XXX?

Holmes: no

Holmes: i’m not sure if i should or shouldn;t

davepoobond: i think they’re gonna make sequels to them





************************************************ou put it in the sun going straight up and down it makes a cool design

Holmes: i saqw lord of the rings

Holmes: lmao

davepoobond: that any good?

Holmes: yes

Holmes: it was

davepoobond: i still havent seen it

Holmes: ow my fuckin arm hurts…i came back from the doctor and he like shoved a needle into me

davepoobond: he pry thought you were a horse

Holmes: he asked “how was my summer” i was about to saw “fun” and he sohved it into my arm

davepoobond: haha he’s a funny guy

Holmes: he stabbed me! i’m suing

davepoobond: do you know how doctors check if a horse is pregnant or not

davepoobond: they shove their whole freaking arm into the horse’s ass

Holmes: ….

davepoobond: and then they take out the poo that is in there

Holmes: eww

davepoobond: and htey use a lot of lube

Holmes: i can emagine

davepoobond: and then after all the poo is out, they take this ultrasonic thingy that is about palm sized and jam it in there as well as their whole arm

davepoobond: aint that spectacular

Holmes: yes

davepoobond: i had a first hand account on monday

davepoobond: 3 times

Holmes: ……

Holmes: ewww

davepoobond: the first time was nasty, but after the other 2, it didnt look too bad

davepoobond: you’ve gotta have balls to stick your whole arm into a horse’s ass

Holmes: yes you do

Holmes: “hold er down….come ere lil horsey” *shove*

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: “ok…i feel somethin….it’s squishy….like jello…”

Holmes: “oh wait this is a male” “how do you know?” “cause i’m grabboin his balls from the inside!”

davepoobond: i was expecting to see his arm come out of the horse’s mouth or something

Holmes: heh

davepoobond: and his arm just kept going in, i was thinking “ok that’s far enough to do it, right?” wrong, it went in farther

Holmes: “oh my god! his ass is eating me alive!!!!”

davepoobond: usually, i think they do about 20 horses at a time

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