Ghetto Dreidel Song

Parody of the actual Dreidel song.


Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta wood

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I played it in the ‘hood

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta glass

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I’m gonna kick yo……..

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta dough

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I wanna pimp a ho!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it with my stash

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
Yo mama is white trash!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I make it while I sing

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I got the madd bling bling!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I don’t got yo present

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
From projects, represent!

 

Home Hot Tubs

In the ruins of the palace of Pamela Anderson in ancient Greece, you can see a marble toilet and a tub the old Greeks used for sexing and fucking.  Now, you, too, can own a genuine juicy spa and whirlpool bath.  you can use it to have sex in the privacy of your own bunk. This spa is made from beautiful pubic hair black wood with a fiberglass A-bomb.  Plenty of room to seat four steaks.  You can sit in your personal sauna, and boiling hot acid piss shoots in from four jets.  It will massage your entire boob, and it cures obscene sex.  Hot boobs are an “in” thing and ar as popular in America as vending.

 

Contest

This is a gigantic contest in which you already may be a wood.  Anyone, and we mean anyone, can enter this sexy contest.  Just follow these sexy rules.  Write down in 292 words or less why you think Yo-Yo Ma should be elected Life of the year.  remember he/she does not know that you think so rusty of him.

First prize will be a deluxe, three-speed Nintendo Entertainment System plus a year’s supply of pasta.  Second prize is a twenty-one foot castle. Third prize is a full-color garlic bread plus a set of justice.  Each entry must be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed Aerosmith.  Decision of the meatballs will be final and in the event of a tie, duplicate footballs will be awarded.

 

Joke #18712

We have a new employee, Jose, at the local Home Depot and has proven to be very knowledgeable and helpful to the sawdust-challenged like myself.

Yesterday I needed his guidance after ruining several pieces of wood with my newly purchased belt sander.

A fast trip to the store led to the retro question,

“Do you know the way to sand, Jose?”

 

Joke #18656

A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg.

The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $10,000.

The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied, “This situation is right here in the fire schedule rating table.

The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn’t it?”

 

The Badger’s Dam

One day there was a badger and this badger was hired to make a river dam.  Well, this fucking badger was an illegal and he came over from that other fucking river and took the beaver’s jobs away from them.

That god damn badger thought he was so good with his cheaper cost wood that he thought he could make a dam for 15 Fish while beavers charged 20 Fish to make a high quality dam.  Considering the quality and the long-term benefits of having a high quality dam as opposed to a low quality dam, the beaver’s dam would survive like five floods or whatever, while the badger’s wouldn’t even survive two.

So the beavers held the badger and his illegal badger family hostage, put them into boxes and shoved them down the waterfall.  Then the beavers detonated that no-good badger’s dam and that forced the Dam-Making Corporation to hire more illegal badgers from the other river to make another dam.  Basically, the hard-working, honest beavers were put out of business and their economy took a shit on themselves after a few of their river banks needed to be bailed out by the government.

Moral of the story:  You may think you can solve the illegal immigration problem yourself, but it is really up to the government to make a real stand on the issue.