David From Rad Books Galore

Hello everyone!!! I am David from Rad Books Galore, and I am here to tell you about one of the totally cool books we have at Rad Books Galore.

It’s called 20,00 Leagues under the sea by Jules Verne, and if you have never heard this title before, anywhere……I don’t know what to tell you.

Anyway the year was 1886 when this book started to tell it’s story. Well it has this boring beginning and our 2 guys at Rad Books Galore in the back room are still arguing about the beginning of the story so I said I wouldn’t say anything about that boring part. I said that only so they wouldn’t get in my face.

Well anyway the main part of the story is when a giant squid attacks a submarine and makes it sink. You’re going to have to read it to find out what happened to them. If you’re still not bribed…I mean interested in buying or reading this book I’ll read you a paragraph or so in the first chapter.

(take book and read page 1 until end of third paragraph)

Now if you aren’t interested to read this book no one is going to force you unless of course they have a gun to your head. Next time (if there is a next time) I will tell you about one of my most favorite books of all time…How To Get Out Of Book Reports Due Tomorrow.

 

Joke #5199: Hell is Fun

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon:

Demon: Why so glum, chum?

Guy: What do you think? I’m in hell.

Demon: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin’ man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Demon: Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequilai Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab… we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more. And if you drink yourself to death, it’s okay… you’re already dead anyway!

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Demon: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Demon: Alright! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it’s okay… you’re already dead anyway!

Guy: No shit!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table.

Guy: Hmmm, I never played pai gow before…

Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don’t mean…

Demon: That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it’s okay… you’re already dead anyway!

Guy: yeah! I never realized that hell was such a swingin’ place!

Demon: You gay?

Guy: Uh, no.

Demon: Oooh, you’re gonna hate Fridays…