A Friend Lost…

I felt like I was being torn in two different directions. The decision would affect today, tomorrow and even next week. I wiped sweat off my forehead, trying to think while my parents urged me to make the decision quickly. They kept reminding me how they didn’t have all day, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I kept telling them that I needed time to think, this was a big decision. A thousand thoughts rushed through my brain, my life flashing before me. Sweat poured down my face like Niagara Falls, each sweat drop hitting the floor with a small inaudible splash sound. My parents eyes were staring into me, awaiting a response. My parents urged me to continue, to choose what had to be chosen. Time was running out, they reminded me. I put my head into my hands, as if my head was falling loose and I could only hold it up. My dad made a loud ahem as I stared up from my dark hands to meet him eye to eye. My dad then said: “Look son, it’s either the white socks, or the gray socks…just make a decision!” Ugh, I thought, it’s just like my dad to make a complicated situation seem so simple. I looked at my choices of socks, thinking each had it’s own benefits and it’s own problems. The white socks stain easily but yet attract attention. While the gray socks, they don’t stain easily but could stain your popularity. I mean being popular was important when your in 5th grade. My dad, tapping his watch to grab my attention, sighed loudly as saying: “Hurry up.” My mom, sticking the choices of socks in front of my face to choose just made things worse. I saw a piece of red lint on the white socks. The horror, Imagine what that would do to my popularity! It would leave a red streak on my life. My hands trembled at the sight. I decided to try the gray sock on. Just then, the unexpected happened. My toenail ripped through the sock! My eyes bulged, I was struck with terror. I couldn’t move a limb. I looked down seeing my oversized toenail ripped through the beautiful grayness. I yelled out: “NooooooooooOOOOooo!” I put my head in my hands remembering the times I had with the gray sock. Oh what fun we use to have, playing in the dirt outside and so on. I met my first shoe with this sock. My mom said: “Oh dear” and took the sock off. I opened my eyes to the sight of her putting on the white sock. I stayed quiet, letting her adjust the sock so it wouldn’t be ripped through by my Godzilla toenails. She slipped on the other one on, taking the red piece of lint off. She slid my shoes on as she grabbed my backpack and handed it to me. I took it with no enthusiasm as I kept my head down. I lost an important friend that day.

 

Joke #5269

Three Blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful…”

“Wrong!” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, “What is Easter?” The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.”

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, “What is Easter?” The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know what Easter is.”

“Oh?” says St. Peter, incredulously.

“Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.”

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde continued, “Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out…and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.”