The Rotting Bowl of Carrots

I wanna fly into the air!

I wanna take over the skies!

With my rotting bowl of carrots in hand!

I’ll shit all over the masses and fuck them over!

I have a ton of fucking carrots in my fucking bowl!

Remember when I used to swim through ranch dressing in a two-piece bikini?

Let me take them carrots and put them in my mouth, chew them up, and spit them on your face!

 

Joke #11369

Driving my friend Steve and his girlfriend to the airport, I passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding a can of beer.

Steve’s girlfriend glanced up at it and announced, “I suppose if I drank a six-pack of that brand, I’d look like her.”

“No,” Steve corrected, “If I drank a six-pack, you’d look like her.”