#6477: davepoobond -> Phoenix

davepoobond: ffff

Phoenix: gggg

davepoobond: iiii

Phoenix: oooo

davepoobond: ;;;;

Phoenix: ….

davepoobond: ++++

Phoenix: ~~~~

davepoobond: ****

davepoobond: \\\\

Phoenix: ****

davepoobond: i already did that

Phoenix: Oops, I lose. I shall kill myself now.

davepoobond: ::victory dance::

Phoenix: Is off dieing, please hold.

Phoenix: Awww, man… and that was my favorite shirt…

davepoobond: yeah thats too bad

Phoenix: Now it’s all bloody, and Goddammit, it’s clotting.

davepoobond: well, its not your fault, no one can beat me

Phoenix: I know, I know. I’d your bitch….

davepoobond: the man with the microphone can tell you what he loves the most

 

#6455: Phoenix -> davepoobond

Phoenix: Got a question for you…

Phoenix: How do you not sexually haress a person applying to be a product tester at a dildo factory?

davepoobond: yeap?

davepoobond: uuhh

davepoobond: i dont really understand the question

davepoobond: is that a trick question

Phoenix: Well if some woman is applying to test dildos how exactly do you notsexually harass her?

davepoobond: dont talk to her?

Phoenix: It’s not really a trick question, I’m seriously wondering.

Phoenix: Well you’d want to um…. see how she’d handle the possition wouldn’t you?

davepoobond: just dont talk to her and dont say anything specific about her job like “how’s the dildos going”

Phoenix: No I mean if she were applying for this job, and you were the interviewer

davepoobond: ohh

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: say something like “we test our products by actually using them, as you may know, since you’re applying to a tester”

Phoenix: but how would you know if she were good or not, she’d have to test them

davepoobond: you dont have to see if she’s good or not

Phoenix: you do if you want a quality operation!

davepoobond: its the same way with video game testers

davepoobond: you dont watch them play

davepoobond: so why would u watch someone sticking a dildo in them

Phoenix: to see if you tink they’d be hurt easily and sue you

davepoobond: they cant. you pry dont offer insurance in testing use

Phoenix: brb, need to roast 24 marshmallows on a stick

davepoobond: okkkk

Phoenix: mmm… yummy

 

#6391: davepoobond -> Phoenix

davepoobond: my breakfast today – a hot dog and Graham cracker honey sticks

davepoobond: a cold hot dog

Phoenix: .. cool or uncookeD?

davepoobond: uncooked

Phoenix: …at least say not frozen

davepoobond: right out of the package

davepoobond: in the fridge

Phoenix: whew…

Phoenix: frozen would scare me

davepoobond: i got kinda nautious at the last few bites

davepoobond: i used to eat them cold when i was little, but i think its just the brand

davepoobond: Hebrew National

Phoenix: prolly the crackers

davepoobond: no, i was just eating the hot dog then

davepoobond: the crackers taste mighty fine

davepoobond: and theres a pile of sugar at the bottom of the bag

davepoobond: heh

Phoenix: mmm.. sugar

davepoobond: we have these nasty cashews that look like they’re good to eat

davepoobond: but they’re really hard and they have no taste to them

Phoenix: ugh

davepoobond: who sells that kinda crap

Phoenix: leave em in a bowl for guests

davepoobond: ………….we dont have guests……

Phoenix: where all the nasty stuff should go.

Phoenix: So?

davepoobond: NO WONDER

davepoobond: its ORGANIC

Phoenix: ugh!

davepoobond: taste more like crap than cashews

Phoenix: nothing good ever comes out of the ground

davepoobond: yer tellin me

davepoobond: they’re horrrrribible

Phoenix: Why would you buy it ugh..

davepoobond: i didnt

davepoobond: my parents did

 

#6162: Thoroughbred -> Phoenix

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Thoroughbred Taken Out to Pasture

The end part of this IM (#6162) has stuff to do with #6161. Some of #6162 happened before #6161.

Thoroughbred: yes

Thoroughbred: nahhh change of font 😛

Thoroughbred: hahahha

Phoenix: um…

Thoroughbred: ahhhhh

Phoenix: it’s the same…

Thoroughbred: ahhhhh

Phoenix: hhhhha

Thoroughbred: ahhhhh

Thoroughbred: hahahha

Phoenix: hhhhh

Thoroughbred: 😛

Phoenix: ahhahah

Thoroughbred: hahahahaha

Thoroughbred: no way

Thoroughbred: uh uh

Thoroughbred: nuh uh

Thoroughbred: no really

Thoroughbred: wow

Phoenix: You bore me…

Thoroughbred: 😛

Thoroughbred: no way

Thoroughbred: really

Thoroughbred: o my god

Thoroughbred: for real

Phoenix: Now you shall be tortured by my minion of evil!

(meaning: davepoobond)

Thoroughbred: no

Thoroughbred: not the evil side

Thoroughbred: ahhhhhhhh

Thoroughbred: i eat calzones

Thoroughbred: they are so tasty

Thoroughbred: do u know im an owl

Thoroughbred: i bet u dont

Thoroughbred: have i scared u yet

Thoroughbred: r u speeechless

Thoroughbred: 😛

Thoroughbred: are you alive

Thoroughbred: do u want me to speak french

Thoroughbred: hello hello

Thoroughbred: 😛

Phoenix: You are now about to die…

Thoroughbred: y?

Thoroughbred: what did i do

Thoroughbred: …………..

Phoenix: dunno…

Phoenix: happens to everyone.

Thoroughbred: ddi u just feel like saying that

Phoenix: no..

Thoroughbred: r u an

Thoroughbred: iow;

Thoroughbred: owl

Phoenix: no, are you a pothead

Thoroughbred: 😛

Phoenix: ?*

Phoenix: hows marlena?

Thoroughbred: u no marlena?

Thoroughbred: she just imed me!

Phoenix: Yeah, I know her…

Thoroughbred: did she im u

Thoroughbred: ?

Phoenix: yes

Thoroughbred: oh did u give her my s/n

Thoroughbred: ?????.

Thoroughbred: just wondering?

Phoenix: Why?

Thoroughbred: just wondering i dont care if u did

Thoroughbred: did u?????

Phoenix: why did the cheese thing scare you?

Thoroughbred: yes

Thoroughbred: did u???????

Phoenix: why?

Thoroughbred: i told u just wondering

Phoenix: why did the cheese thing scare you

Thoroughbred: veuillez me repondre

Thoroughbred: it was just scary

Thoroughbred: did u????

Phoenix: If you don’t care why keep asking?

Thoroughbred: i do care, im wondering

Thoroughbred: ne me tortuez pas!!!

Phoenix: Why did you lie and say you didn’t?

Thoroughbred: i didnt, ahhhh confusing me

Thoroughbred: i dont care if u did give her my s/n

Thoroughbred: i just am wondering if u did?

Phoenix: I know you are.

Thoroughbred: then why dont u tell me

Phoenix: your funny

Thoroughbred: lol

Thoroughbred: ok i give up lol

Phoenix: good

Thoroughbred: i know u r the 1 whoo gave it to her

Thoroughbred: and i know ur the 1 who gave her the cheese joke

Phoenix: uh huh

Thoroughbred: vous me genez!!!

Thoroughbred: i dont care though

Thoroughbred: r u the evil one

Thoroughbred: bye

Phoenix: mm hmm…

Thoroughbred: vous etes tres ennuyant!!!!!bye

Phoenix: I AM BILLY ZANE

 

#5883: Chriscraw -> Phoenix

Chriscraw: duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu go away fag

Phoenix: nah, it’s so much fun to annoy you

Phoenix: Plus your a bad rper…

Phoenix: when you want to talk to a char. MUN you use bubbles. You know these things~~~> ((your a moron))

Phoenix: Nothing to say?

Chriscraw: yey yuor about to get kicked off

Phoenix: ummm… no

Chriscraw: sorry getting off any way just wate

Phoenix: Plus it helps to be able to spell

Phoenix: Chriscraw: yey yuor about to get kicked off?

Phoenix: yey? yuor?

Phoenix: You can’t even defend yourself because you know it’s all true!!!

Chriscraw: u now u a asssssssssssssssss

Phoenix: Aww, come on don’t be that way…

Phoenix: Theres no need to, just admit that your a moron who can’t rp… not hard.

He leaves

 

#5882: Phoenix -> Hawk Eye

Phoenix: Want a funny picture in your head?

Hawk Eye: ok

Phoenix: A one on one battle… between bards..

Hawk Eye: LoL

Phoenix: Can you imagine the threats?

Phoenix: “I’ll make your ears bledd!”

Hawk Eye: I’ll serenad you to sleep

Phoenix: You and what chorus?

Hawk Eye: Chant this!

Hawk Eye: I’ll pop your Harp strings!!

Phoenix: Alright, this will be your undoing! Concherto crash!

Hawk Eye: My Devestating Larengitis Beam

Phoenix: You’ll never beat me and my legendarry, Muscalibur!

Hawk Eye: face the Wrath of MasaMUTE

Hawk Eye: you tone deaf Bastard

Phoenix: Why you spoony wannabe bard!

Hawk Eye: huh!!! You you you BACK UP SINGER!!!!

 

#5881: Gayle -> Phoenix

Gayle: BO BO SEE ATIN TATIN

Gayle: NAH NAH MY NAME IS BO BO

Phoenix: Kawaii Boo Blo, coo coo cachu

Gayle: TO THE BAT MOBLIE MARK BOY

Phoenix: I am the dreamer, I am the walrus! Coo coo cachu!!!!!

Phoenix: kachu*

Gayle: NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH MARK BOY

Gayle: DAMN IT ALL TOO HELL MARK YOU YOU YOU ………………….PERSON

Phoenix: Cufusled, cabudels

Gayle: caBUDALS DELS des LEDS led PoSIonINg

Gayle: Cufusled, cabudels

Gayle: caBUDALS DELS des LEDS led PoSIonINg

Phoenix: drewbical

Gayle: dRE whi cal calIFORNIA

Gayle: BALALLALAKEFJGNANGUQTH HI MARK

Phoenix: Fluzzel, bluzzel, Drabenobond!

Gayle: bEFUDDLED MY FINE FEATHERED FRIEND

Phoenix: You flippen, flaggen fluppelater willy wankafier!

Gayle: TIME TO BE PERSISTANT IN THIS GAME HAS PAST NOW SHALL WE RETURN TO NARNIAN

WHERE WE WOULD PROBABLY BELONG?

Gayle: DAHH RED RED EVERYWHERE RED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phoenix: God noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… Then again ok

Gayle: OK THEN . YOU ARE TRYING TO BEFUDDLE ME!!!!!!!!!

Gayle: ANY WAY THERE ID RED EVERY WHERE SURROUNDED BY RED!!!!!!!!

Phoenix: aww I did it a few times you befuddled, attemped befuddling failed befuddler of fudders!!

Gayle: OK THEN BUT I SHALL BEFUDDLE YOU SOME DAY MY FINE BEFUDDLER FRIEND MARK YOUR WORDS OF BEFUDDLEMINT I SHALL

Gayle: I HAVE BEEN FREED FROM THE HAIR WHICH IS RED

Phoenix: Your bald! I befulled you you baldedness!

Gayle: NO MY HAIR WAS IN MY FACE STUPID

Gayle: YOU STUPID BEFUDDLE ATTEMPTER

Phoenix: Not attempter bald face.

Phoenix: ed*

Gayle: zacharia blazer

Phoenix: Burn Hollwwood burn Ms. Blazzzy!

Gayle: RIGHT YOU FAIL YOU MARK PERSON

EVIL BASTARD GENIUS

Phoenix: You grammericallaricallyically devoided perwolson!

Gayle: >:(

Phoenix: Bwahahahahhahaha!

Gayle: :'(

Phoenix: hehhehe, salty teary deary!

Gayle: >:I

Gayle: YOU HAVE N’T

Phoenix: I havlleledn’t blidentnt you blatently upetty one havelty!

Gayle: TISK TISK

Phoenix: Tisky nessity! ble he he

Gayle: HI MARK

Phoenix: hi luv

Gayle: MY NAME IS GAYLE AND YOURS IS MARK

Phoenix: Don’t complain or I’ll give you a bad nickname my melting panda

 

Phoenix Dragon Inn

Max Code: hahahhhahah i am xena

davepoobond: no you’re not

davepoobond: you’re an imposter

JadeX: ::rolls eyes:: here we go again

Elvere: ::flicks a peanut at Phoenix::YOu didn’t warn me..

davepoobond: ::kicks max in the nuts:: hmm….xena has nuts….yeah, i believe you now

OnlineHost: Lord G LaMer has left the room.

OnlineHost: Whitetigergrl has entered the room.

Para: Hmm…

Elvere: Let me go..

Max Code: i am a chik you ass shit

OnlineHost: Whitetigergrl has left the room.

Elvere: ::squirms free::

Max Code: ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

davepoobond: hahaha ::laughs anyway:: and?

Elvere: ::walks towards the guy hovering::

Elvere: Why you double crossing no good two bit having plastic potato with big ears..

Max Code: GO SCRUW URSELFF

JadeX: lalalalalala…….

Phoenix: about?

JadeX: z

JadeX: zz

JadeX: zzz

JadeX: zzzz

JadeX: zzzzz

JadeX: zzzzzz

JadeX: zzzzzzz

Max Code: zzzzzzzzzzz

JadeX: zzzzzzzz

Max Code: zzzzzzzz

Max Code: z

JadeX: NO

Max Code: zzzzzzzz

JadeX: z

Max Code: zzzzzzzz

JadeX: zz

OnlineHost: Phoenix has left the room.

Elvere: You locked the door.

Max Code: zzz

Para: hmm….

JadeX: &%$%*^(^$%^$#@#%!@#$%*&(^^(*(

Max Code: zzzz

Elvere: Oh he’s gone..

JadeX: NO!

davepoobond: ………………..

JadeX: Å

Para: ((He got lagged off))

JadeX: aa

davepoobond: stop snoring

davepoobond: ((no….hes still on))

Para: ((I just noticed))

JadeX: ::breathes fire at dabond::

Max Code: urghf urghf urghf

JadeX: z!

davepoobond: ahh! ::gets on fire, but it doesnt matter::

JadeX: aruf arur aruf

JadeX: aruf*

davepoobond: ::releases an electric shockwave onto Jade, trapping her in an electricity net::

Elvere: ::grabs the bowl of peanuts and throws some at Jade::Here dragon…

JadeX: ((arur?lol))

Max Code: do the retard do do do dodododo do do do od dod dodododo do do

Max Code: urghf

Max Code: urghf

Max Code: urghf

Max Code: ueghf

JadeX: everyone has a little dumbness to em

JadeX: everyone has a little jerk

Max Code: everyone has a little little fart a yabedi dart

JadeX: everyone has a little little little little little FART

JadeX: and a yabedy dart

JadeX: lol

Max Code: and thats a fart

davepoobond: yeah!

davepoobond: FARTTTTTTTT

JadeX: FARRRRRRRRRT

Max Code: fart

davepoobond: you’re talkin my language..!

Elvere: ::yawns and eats some peanuts::

JadeX: what is w/ you and peanuts? ::burns all the peanuts::

davepoobond: roated peanuts

davepoobond: mmh

davepoobond: ::eats the peanuts::

JadeX: grrrrrrrrrrrr

Max Code: grrrrrrr

JadeX: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Max Code: what are you nutless and trying to make up for it

Max Code: once you’re nutered you can’;t get em back

JadeX: rockin around the christmas tree have a happy holiday!

JadeX: ::is drunk::

JadeX: everybody, lets be jolly!

JadeX: deck the halls w/ boughs of holly!

davepoobond: ::tangos with jade:: TANGO!

JadeX: ::hiccup::

Max Code: I’M FROM THE LUPE AND I’M PROUD LA BACK UP TO TEXAS RIGHT FROM INDIANA

Elvere: ::looks around and takes the chance to get out of the place opening the door:: Ha-ha!

davepoobond: yay

JadeX: itsa small wrld after all!

davepoobond: ::twits jade around::

Max Code: SHA TA BO PEEP IS LOSING HER DAM SHEEP

Elvere: You’re from Lupe’?

JadeX: you nasty man! let go of me!::whacks dabond w/ her tail::

Max Code: CAUSE SHE SCREWED THE MAIL MAN RIGHT UP TO NORTH DEKOTA, STOP THAT YOU AIN’T COOL CALLED THE

Max Code: SHEEP

Elvere: ::closes the door behind him::

JadeX: london bridge is falling down…..

Max Code: OHHH NOOOO FUCKN SHEEP

OnlineHost: Elvere has left the room.

JadeX: brooklyn bridge is burning down….tralalalala!

Max Code: STOP FUCKIN ME

Max Code: TRALALALALLALALALALA

OnlineHost: Para has left the room.

Max Code: TIS THE SEASON TOBE JOLLY LALALALALLA

davepoobond: yes…

JadeX: deck the ahlls w/ boughs of holly!

JadeX: tra la la la la la LA LA LA!

JadeX: ::hiccup:: how does that song go again?::aruf::

davepoobond: ::steals away jade, and runs away::

Max Code: DAVEPOOBOND GET THE FUCK OUT

davepoobond: no

JadeX: i know leave me alone!

Max Code: GET OUT YOU FAG

davepoobond: you guys are mean

davepoobond: ::kicks them both in the shin and jumps on their head::

Max Code: HAHHAHAH I KNOW

JadeX: dont fuck w/ dragons

davepoobond: thats not nice though

davepoobond: ::leaves::

 

#6495: davepoobond -> Phoenix

davepoobond: man i have a headache…….i’m goin back to school tomrrow, that’s why

Phoenix: heh, I’m on thursday

davepoobond: =P

davepoobond: whats it matter, y’got 2 more days, who cares

davepoobond: ::bangs his head on the table::

Phoenix: lol

Phoenix: Where there ::slides a nail on the table when his head should land::

davepoobond: @.@

 

UPDATE January 26, 2000

dAvE bOnD:  i put up a story made by Phoenix.  Its pretty funny, and he said he’d give me some more stories to put on.  So…yeah, wait for the stories then. Also some pictures and a poem that isnt exactly a poem but i just put it there anyway. Email me with some comments about the site…i’m getting pretty bored every now and then…actually a lot more than that…but still…email me at davebond_cashmm@hotmail.com