Woman Announcer: Cheerleader Outlet – the world’s GREATEST Cheerleader store!
(products of all types zoom up to the screen, and a crappy “explosion” kind of drawing behind each thing. Behind the product, you can see “the store” with people “shopping”)
(for each thing that comes up, someone names it)
Cheerleader Pam: Skirts! Pom Poms! Glitter! Sweaters! T-Shirts! Glitter! Lube! Condoms! Glitter! We’ve got it ALL here!
(scene cuts to a hot cheerleader, Cheerleader Pam, walking down an aisle of t-shirts, sweaters, skirts, and sweatpants)
Cheerleader Pam: Cheerleader Outlet is THE place to get your cheerleader-needs! Forget those ridiculously expensive magazines selling USED clothes! We get our clothes directly from the factory!
(Cheerleader Pam picks up a pair of socks)
Cheerleader Pam: look at these socks! They’re striped at the top! ONLY $120 EACH sock! And its new! That’s the same price for a used sock from a magazine!
(scene cuts to Cheerleader Pam in a room with Pom Poms hanging off the ceiling from strings)
Cheerleader Pam: we have the largest amount of Pom Poms in one room in the world! We have EVERY color combination and in all sizes! We also have flags for you flaggies out there!
(Cheerleaders come out of nowhere, grabbing Pom Poms and flags and get in formation behind Cheerleader Pam. They all do their cheerleading shit for a minute and end up in a pose with all their asses pointing to the camera)
Cheerleader Pam: its extravagant!
(cuts to Cheerleader Pam walking down the accessories aisle)
Cheerleader Pam: now, we all know that the clothes and the moves only makes you two fourths of a cheerleader. If you want to be a genuine cheerleader, you need some accessories! Like:
(with each thing she says, she grabs it out of the shelves and puts it in her arms)
Cheerleader Pam: Glitter….deoderant…little handbags, lipstick, lip gloss, eye shadow, other expensive makeup in a little bag, candy necklaces, and you can’t forget the lube and condoms!
(scene cuts to another section of the store, where sirens and guns are on display)
Cheerleader Pam: for security, from photographers, boys that just can’t wait, or moms about to walk in on your love making, we offer security systems and other security things, such as Wanguards, and Butt-Hugger Brand Short Shorts for those nasty photographers that think they’re so smart, when we jump into the air, and our skirts fly up…pshhh…ok, come now.