(an umbrella about 13 feet long is being held by a guy in a bathing suit and he’s wearing sunglasses. He’s at the beach with his family)
Rocket Joe: Hey, honey! I found a good spot!
Rocket Jane: this is very nice
Rocket Jr.: yeah yeah yeah! I wanna make a sand castle!
Rocket Joe: we will son…we will
(Rocket Joe puts the umbrella flat on his shoulder and a handle pops out of it)
Rocke Joe: die, people!
(Rockets fly out of the umbrella, blowing people up left and right)
King of the Beach: We’re under attack! Arm yourselves!
(people with smaller umbrellas come behind the King of the Beach, and grab onto the umbrella part of the umbrella, and cock it all at the same time, like shotguns)
(King of the Beach takes an umbrella out of the ground, flips it over, and pulls out a huge sword from it)
King of the Beach: chaarrrgee!!!
(Rocket Jane and Rocket Jr. are launching more rockets, with Rocket Joe)
(people are running at them, but get blown up. King of the Beach jumps into the air, calling out something)
King of the Beach: The earth shatters beneath my sword! EARTH SPLIT!!
(King of the Beach slams his sword in the middle of the ground near the Rocket family)
(scene cuts to a guy watching TV)
Umbrella Master: well…that was some great programming
(the scene goes black and white, freezing and stuff scrolls in front of the screen)
After the battle of Malibu Beach, Umbrella Armory has been put under many many lawsuits. We don’t know why we’re scrolling this, we just want you to feel sorry for us so we can get the blame taken off of us.
(goes back to Umbrella Master)
Umbrella Master: Hello, I’m Umbrella Master. Here at Umbrella Armory, we sell you umbrellas modified to kill, just like the penguin in Batman has umbrellas….like that….yes….
(Umbrella Master dances around in a padded room)
Umbrella Master: buy my umbrellas, so I can get out of this looney bin! Aghhh!!