Now Top stories with-
(the announcer guy from DBC gets fizzled out and some letters appear on the black screen)
Matt to the 2nd Power Studios
(Somewhere in the Nevada desert)
Matt: Hello, we are Matt to the 2nd Power Studios. We have hacked DBC’s TV signal and taken it over to bring you this special broadcast from Matt to the 2nd Power Studios.
Matthew: Yes, that’s right! We’re going to have special guests such as, well, uh, no one….yet….our expert kidnappers are out searching for a guest as we speak.
Mat: So, what do we do now?
Matt: Well, we can go out into the blistering hot sun and try to find a tennis court to play basketball on, or we can stay here and watch some porno movies….I got some rare, and very explicit stuff. People that you would never think to do this kind of stuff actually did, and I have it right here.
(they all look at each other)
Everybody: TENNIS COURT!
Mat: Hey, Camera Man, we want you to follow us.
Camera Man: Fine. But I better get a bonus for this.
Matt: Huh? Bonus? Are you talking about money? You mean the stuff we don’t have, right?
Camera Man: I think I’ll stay here and watch the porno movies
(Matthew takes out a gun and points it to him)
Matthew: Now, what were you saying?
Camera Man (looking nervously at the gun): I said I’m gonna watch the porno movies
Matthew: No, you didn’t say that
Camera Man: Yes, I did
(Matthew walks up to him and starts poking him in the gut)
Matthew: No, you didn’t say that
Camera Man: No, I didn’t
Matthew: That’s better. Now come on, lets bring a football so we can find the tennis court to play basketball on.
Mat: Damn, its so hot out here…I feel like I’m gonna melt…..
(Mat starts to melt)
Matt: Woah dude! You are melting
Mat (almost half his size from before): burble burble?
Matthew: Excuse me? Did you call me a dirty little prick?
(Matthew takes his gun and shoots Mat)
(The bullet makes a sickening splash into Mat)
Matt: Dude, why’d you do that? That bullet cost money!
Matthew: But he called me a-
Matt: I don’t care. That bullet is coming out of your salary
Matthew (thinking for a few seconds): I don’t have a salary
Matt: You don’t, now. I’m taking Mat’s salary because he’s dead, and yours because your being a little bitch and wasting the only bullet we had in that gun!
Camera Man: Ok, good, that’s it, I’m going back in to watch the porno movies
(The camera man turns around and starts to walk to the door, but Matthew clubs him on the back of his head with the gun)
Matt: Ew, now he’s all bleeding and making a mess of our front porch! Man, why’d you have to do that???? Now, his blood is boiling from this heat!
Matthew: Sorry man, he was pissing me off.
Matt: Well, you are pissing me off and I’m not clubbing you on the back with a gun!
Matthew: Well, you don’t even HAVE a gun!
(Matt grabs Matthew’s gun)
Matt: Well, now I do!
(Matthew grabs the gun)
Matthew: Now you don’t
(Matt and Matthew grab at the gun and struggle with it)
Matt: GIVE ME THE GUN NOW!!!
(Matt accidentally fires the gun at Matthew)
Matthew: AH! You shot me, you bastard! Now I’m all bleeding and nasty looking.
Matt: Ah, man, I thought you had only one bullet…..that’s a pretty big boo-boo…
Matthew: Yes, it is
(Matthew collapses and dies)
Matt: DAMMIT!!! Now I’m all alone!
(Matt looks around)
Matt: Ah, screw it
(Matt points the gun to the head and fires)
Matt: Damn….well, I guess I’ll go inside and watch the porno movies then.
(Matt heads toward the door then turns back)
Matt (stopping): Oh, wait a second, The Pooheads won against the Peas, and the M & M people died yesterday. And its hot as hell out here for the weather. Ok, buh bye
(Matt goes into the building and the camera fizzles out and explodes because of the heat)