sweet17: Hi

Bloodninja: hello

Bloodninja: who is this?

sweet17: just a someone?

Bloodninja: A someone I know?

sweet17: nope

Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

sweet17: well sorrrrrry

sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you

Bloodninja: why?

sweet17: nevermind your an jerk

Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute

sweet17: yes?

Bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid

sweet17: paranoid?

Bloodninja: yes

sweet17: of what?

sweet17: me?

Bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.

sweet17: LOL

Bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me!

Bloodninja: This shit is serious!

sweet17: What are you hiding from?

Bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: gimme a fucking break

Bloodninja: I’m serious.

sweet17: I don’t get it

Bloodninja: The cops are after me.

sweet17: For what?

Bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states

sweet17: For???

Bloodninja: It’s kind of embarrasing.

Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.

Bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You are fucking sick.

Bloodninja: Send me your picture.

sweet17: why?

Bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.

sweet17: One of what?

Bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you

Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.

sweet17: hold on

Bloodninja: Hurry up.

Bloodninja: Are you there?

Bloodninja: Fuck you, cop!

sweet17: Hey sorry

sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.

Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.

Bloodninja: Weren’t you!?

sweet17: thats not it

Bloodninja: Then what?

sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty

Bloodninja: Most cops aren’t

sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE!

Bloodninja: Then send me the picture.

sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?

Bloodninja: Just send it through here.

sweet17: alright *PIC*

sweet17: Did you get it?

Bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.

sweet17: That was me back in may

sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.

Bloodninja: I hope so

sweet17: what?!?

sweet17: that hurt my feelings.

Bloodninja: Did it?

sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.

Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

sweet17: yes

Bloodninja: Alright let me find it.

sweet17: kks

Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*

sweet17: this isn’t you.

Bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!

sweet17: You don’t look like that.

Bloodninja: How the hell do you know?

sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.

Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.

Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.

sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….

Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.

sweet17: Go fuck yourself

Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture

Bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.

sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.

sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.

sweet17: you hurt me.

Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?

sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!

Bloodninja: Why would I do that?

sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you

Bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!

Bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.

sweet17: You’re a FUCKING ASSHOLE!

sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight

sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me

Bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.

sweet17: No you aren’t

Bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.

Bloodninja: HAARRRRR!

sweet17: I’m done with you

Bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.

sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore

Bloodninja: Wait a sec

Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.

Bloodninja: Wanna start over?

sweet17: No

Bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty

sweet17: You’ll what?

Bloodninja: You heard me.

Bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.

sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture

Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?

sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

Bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.

Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.

sweet17: Like what?

Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?

sweet17: I don’t know

Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.

sweet17: I’m afraid to

Bloodninja: Why?

sweet17: cause

Bloodninja: cause why?

sweet17: well lets see

sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out

sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?

Bloodninja: Nope

sweet17: well its strange to me

Bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to

sweet17: I didn’t say that

Bloodninja: So is that a yes?

sweet17: I guess so.

Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

Bloodninja: Are you willing?

sweet17: What do you need me to do?

Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.

sweet17: ???

Bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”

Bloodninja: ok?

Bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You can’t be serious

Bloodninja: Oh yes I am!

Bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.

sweet17: this is retarded

Bloodninja: Do you want it or not?

sweet17: Yes I want it.

Bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?

sweet17: sure

Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.

Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.

Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.

sweet17: mmmm yeah

Bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.

sweet17: Har

Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!

Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.

Bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.

Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

sweet17: mmmmmm you are good

Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder

Bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: HARRRRRRR

Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.

Bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: this is stupid

Bloodninja: …still limp

Bloodninja: Do it!

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.

sweet17: WTF?!?!?

Bloodninja: They stink really bad.

sweet17: OMG STOP!!!

Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.

sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!

Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

Bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…

Bloodninja: I kick you in the face!

sweet17: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!

Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…

Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.

Bloodninja: …going limp again.

Bloodninja: Hello?

Bloodninja: Say it!

Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!