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Game Reviews, Games

Sims Online, The (PC) Review

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Please note that this is based on the test play version of The Sims Online

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The Sims. Great game, huh? well not really, but apparently everyone else thinks so. Anyways, going online is the next “logical” step, right? Well it might be good if they just made the game multiplayer. That’s what we thought it would be, right? Well it’s really not even the same game. There’s no point in getting skill points. They kind of help you get more money (get to that later), but the money’s not important. Who wants to design a house? It’s boring! Then you have roommates.. That was a good idea, but one always stays on 24/7 and then when you go back on he’s got perfect stats and he’s ben breaking the pinata all bight and bought 5 pizza makers and is raking in all the profits and tells you to give him all your money or he’ll kick you out of the house!! Eh… this isn’t going too well.. I’m gonna organize this into liitle sections..

presentation:

Actually ok, but kinda buggy. it’s got a whole interface for “email” and “instant messages”. Good ideas. I like the whole city idea, where you live in a …city…ok, it’s not too innovative, but I was impressed.

graphics:

whatever! screw it, you all have seen the sims. what i didn’t like is you can’t make your own skins or import them from websites (If you can, then you’re the only one that sees the difference).

sound:

Sucks! I hate the Sims sounds! you have to buy a radio to hear any music, and when you do, you feel like you’re listening to ‘Hit Clips’! Sucks! I hate the retarded “language” the sims have. “blah bloo blee blah?” “Bloo! Bloo! Ble ba ba be bo te!” Shut the hell up! And that tv pisses me off too. another hit clips piece of crap. It shows thes static images of a guy holding a sausage. It’s supposed to be “horror”. I hate it how you can only hear stuff when you’re looking at it, too.

gameplay:

This is the suckkiest part. THIS GAME HAS NO POINT. To me, it seems like the whole object of the game is to get money to buy crappy items that have minigames that you can WATCH your sims play. And “going to work” is the biggest load of crap i ever played. there are three jobs that actually pay good because they’re the interactive ones.

1) pizza maker- This thing blows. ok, theres four people around a table. they each have three ingredients. they might be different sizes, or different altogether. the goal is for everyone to put the right ingredient and size onto the pizza so they are all the same size and it has three required ingredients. Whoppie. You get more money for making a bigger pizza, so of course everyone puts on a large ingredient as soon as they get one. most often the pizza comes out as a charred mess. you can talk to each other during it, too. the typical pizza goes something like this:

Guy1: I got a med doh, sml sauce, and lrg anchovies

Guy2: ss, ss, sc

Guy3: I got cheese!

Guy4: No, I got cheese! I already put it in!

Guy1: what the hell! we don’t even know what size we’re making!

Guy2: Fukin noob!

Guy3: I call cheese!

Guy4: I already did that! you can’t put in two of the same thing!

Guy1: come on guys! guy4, what size did you do?

Guy3: you can’t do cheese cause i just put mine in!

Guy4: I PUT MINE IN FIRST!!

Guy2: Burn it!

Guy1: no! come on! i really need the money! dammit!

but since everyones rushing, it goes more like:

Guy1: md ss la

Guy2: ss ss sc

Guy3: cheese

Guy4: cheese is in

Guy3: cheese in

Guy2: noob! burn!

Guy1: dammit!

my point is it sucks ass. all the jobs are basically the same thing. it basically boils down to a chat program.

conclusion:

for a $50 game and $10 a month, it isn’t worth it. download ninjawalk or something.

Or better yet, since you like the sims so much, buy all the damn expansion packs they keep pulling out thier ass.

overall score: 4/10

Games, Game Reviews

Battlefield 1942 (PC) Review

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Developer: DICE / Publisher: EA Games

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Overview:

The War might be over, but not the slew of games based on it. Don’t get me wrong, I like World War II games that aren’t shitty. Battlefield 1942 definitely isn’t a shitty game. Its actually one of the best games I’ve played. And one of the only PC games I have. I don’t have too many, and this is definitely a must-have for first-person shooter games. And it seems to all be historically accurate. It has the same sort of “realistic” gameplay as Counterstrike, while still making it fun.

Graphics:

The graphics are great. You really can’t get much better right now with these graphics. Of course there’s some exceptions right now, but this is good enough for me. The graphics could get better, but I wouldn’t really care for it too much, unless it was made a little more realistic.

Sound:

The sounds of all the different guns and vehicles are good enough for me. They’re not really that annoying either because when you’re gunning down an enemy, all you care about is killing them.

Gameplay:

The gameplay is just like a regular first-person shooter. There is a single player mode, but I usually play online. The online mode is exactly the same as the single player mode except its not a career, and your computer doesn’t have to do all the work of computing the actions of the dozen or so other guys on the map. Its also a lot more fun online, because you can play with your friends, or you can just play with other people who are usually smarter than the computer.

Crappiest Part:

The crappiest part about the game is the long load times. The maps are huge, so I understand why it takes so long. It just takes away from the game to have long load times.

Overall Score:

This game is loads of fun, and with mods you can install, the replay value of this game is very high. The best mod out right now is called Desert Combat, and I am actually playing it more than Battlefield 1942.

10/10

Game Reviews, Games

Burnout Legends (PSP) Review

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Developer: EA London / Publisher: EA Games || Overall: 9.3/10

The PSP’s first Burnout game isn’t an entirely new title in the Burnout series; rather, it is more like a compilation of all of the best parts of Burnout 1, Burnout 2, and Burnout 3, using the physics and gameplay engine of Burnout 3. Burnout Legends is a perfect arcade racer for the PSP, capturing the feel of its console counterparts amazingly well. Burnout Legends works perfectly for a portable without skimping on what makes the Burnout series great in the first place.

To put it bluntly, Burnout Legends is a great game. Just like every other game in the series, it revolves around high speed racing action full of dodging traffic and crashing into your competitors as you try to place in an event. The basic formula for Burnout is amplified by the sheer amount of modes and things you can do in the game; you’ll never be bored. For PSP owners that haven’t gotten around to buying any of the Burnout games prior to Burnout Revenge, Burnout Legends is a must-have. Even for people that have all the Burnout games, Burnout Legends’ value will come with its portability and its truthfulness to its console roots.

As for the modes and events you’ll see in the game, they should be familiar to any Burnout fan. There are the World Tour, Single Event, and Multiplayer modes with the events of Race, Time Attack, Road Rage, Pursuit, Crash, Eliminator, Grand Prix, Face-Off, and Burning Lap – it’s all here. In World Tour mode there’s also the different car classes of Compact, Muscle, Coupe, Sport, and Super. Each World Tour class has its own set of challenges that includes a mixture of the previously mentioned events, with each class getting more difficult and speeds reaching higher levels.

As for the events: In Race, you’ll go up against three other opponents and try to get in first place. Time Attack is a Single Event mode-specific event in which you just try to get the fastest time you can for a particular track. In Road Rage you’ll attempt to get a certain amount of takedowns before your car is destroyed. In Pursuit, you’ll drive a cop car and attempt to chase and bring down another car within a time limit. For Crash, there are exactly 100 levels in which you try to rack up as much damage as you can, by crashing. In Eliminator, it’s like a regular race except that the racer that places last in each lap is eliminated. Grand-Prix offers a run-of-the-mill tournament mode in which you’ll race through a certain amount of tracks and earn points based on what you placed in each race. Face-Off is a one on one race, and Burning Lap is basically like Time Attack except you’re in a supercharged car with the nitro gauge filled up the whole way. Needless to say, there’s plenty to do in the game.

The PSP’s analog nub isn’t plagued by sensitivity issues, and feels just about perfect control-wise. The only thing that might make a difference, though, is your thumb could start to hurt after a long hour or so of playing. Because of the absence of a second analog stick on the PSP, you’ll have to resort to pressing a button for your gas.

The graphics in Burnout Legends are really some of the best you’ll be seeing at this stage of the PSP’s life. It’s nothing short of eye candy (for a handheld) and looks very similar in terms of graphical quality compared to Burnout 3. The sound also compliments the game very well, on the sound effects and music side. Though there are 21 songs in the soundtrack, it isn’t very diverse after long amounts of playing and you’ll start wanting to hear stuff that is a little bit different than the punk/rock repertoire included. Sound effects overall are very nice as well, but during Crash mode, the sound can get a little bit irritating when you sit there waiting for the end of a Crash event. It is just the long monotonous noises of car horns that can get on your nerves, especially since the volume isn’t decreased in-game while the monetary damage is calculated.

There are a couple of nifty points to the game, such as the amount of cars and game sharing. As a total, there are 89 cars to unlock and if you can find a friend you can challenge them a “Collector Challenge” in which you can win a car they have that you want in your quest to collect all the cars in the game. Game sharing allows you to play with a friend in a one-on-one race or let them play a single-player demo of the game. So, anyone with a PSP (no UMD required) can play a game of Burnout Legends against you.

As for what’s bad about the game, there really aren’t many things to pick out. The game can be buggy at times, the most apparent bug being shaking floor texture panels. Once during a Crash event, I hit a car so hard that I opened up a portal to a void in which my car just kept falling. Even after Crashbreaker (if I had even thought in the first place it would do anything), I wasn’t able to get out of the void until the end of the event. It may have just been a fluke to discover the void, but the floor textures shaking around should have been fixed. What could be seen as a discerning point about the game is that there is no Infrastructure mode present that would allow you to play the game over the Internet.

Burnout Legends is a recommendable game to any PSP owner who likes arcade racers. For what is included in the game and its myriad of challenges, modes, events, and amazing value of gameplay, it really is worth the price. It can’t be stressed any more that Burnout Legends is one of the greatest PSP games on the market right now.