Oatmeal is really pointless. When you eat oatmeal, you don’t actually EAT it. You just move around your teeth, pretending like you’re actually doing something with the oats, when you’re not, and just pretty much swallow it the way you put it in your mouth. There’s no point in chewing, had it not been for the way oatmeal sticks together. Oatmeal is dumb. You put sugar on it, but it really doesn’t do much good even then. Ooh, wow. A sugary taste. Wheee!
Maybe you should suck it into your butt? Possible solutions by sensible J2K