SPORTSCASTER: “It was a quiet afternoon in the National Football League today.  Even though all the teams played, nothing exciting happened.  Now, I’ll describe the action:

The Redskins scalped the Cowboys!

The Lions devoured the Saints!

The Vikings butchered the Dolphins!

The Chiefs massacred the Patriots!

The Falcons tore the Cardinals to shreds!

The Broncos trampled the Rams!

The Bears mauled the Buccaneers!

The Giants squashed the Packers!

The Jets shot down the Eagles!

And the Bengals chewed up the Colts!

As I said before, it was a quiet day in the N.F.L.”