Trash Can Betty

(Betty is on a street corner, “hiding” in a trash can)

Betty: I hope no one finds me in here

(Betty stays in the trash can the whole night)

Betty: well, I guess no one was looking for me

(audience laughs, because he has a banana peel on his head)

(the next morning, he is still in the trash can, sleeping. You can hear snoring inside the trash can)

(a garbage truck comes along, which sounds like his snoring in the trash can, so the Garbage Man doesn’t know Betty is in there, and he dumps him into the garbage truck. Betty falls in with a big thump, and the garbage truck’s hatch closes up)

(Betty wakes up)

Betty: where am I? Did the trash can get bigger? Or did I shrink?

(audience laughs because he’s so stupid)

(5 hours later, the garbage truck ends up at the dump, and he’s dumped in the middle of nowhere)

Betty: oh great. Now what?

(audience laughs)

Betty: where’s all that laughing coming from?

(Betty looks around and then shrugs)

(Betty sees a huge hill of garbage)

Betty: I wonder, what’s up there?

(Betty climbs up halfway – when a huge bulldozer appears out of nowhere, coming straight at Betty!)

(audience laughs as Betty runs for his life down the mountain of garbage)

(Betty trips and falls head first into a toilet, tipping it over, making it so that he is on top of the toilet, with his head in the bowl)

(Betty takes his head out of the toilet, looking over the bowl at the bulldozer coming straight at him. All of a sudden, a washing machine flies out of nowhere and blows up the bulldozer)

Betty: whoa! What was that?

(Betty looked at where the washing machine came from, and he got a horrified look on his face)

Betty: oh no! GARBAGE PEOPLE!

(10 scantily clad garbage people wearing trash can suits with sharpened TV antennas and trash can lids for shields came up to him)

Garbage person 1: who are you?

Betty: I’m Betty. I don’t know how I got here

Garbage person 3: It was the Gods! I swear it! They drive their trucks down here and throw away the people they don’t want! Just like Mr. Teddums here.

(Garbage person 3 pets a teddy bear that has its bottom half cut off)

Garbage person 7: we were once just like you. Alone, and afraid in the truck, and being chased down by those mechanical brooms!

Betty: riiighht….

(audience laughs)

Garbage person 10: are you laughing at us!?

Betty: me? Of course not…I’m gonna go home now, bye.

Garbage people: bye

(audience laughs)


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.