Gullah Gullah LA

(theme song, sung to Gullah Gullah Island theme song)

Come and let’s play together,

In the bright, sunny desert

Lets all go to-

Gullah Gullah LA-AA!

Lots to steal and to do

Where all the molesters

Come to steal our kids


Gullah Gullah LA-AAA!

Gullah Gullah!

Gullah Gullah in an apartment building!

(end of song)

(scene starts out focused on an eviction notice. It says: )

Eviction Notice from Gullah Gullah Police Department

You must leave within 30 days or we will bust shit up

(the door with the eviction notice opens, and the members of the family come out with suitcases)

(Mama Gullah, Papa Gullah, Garret Gullah, Sara Gullah, and Froggy Gullah go outside)

Mama Gullah: say goodbye to our home, family

Garret Gullah: I don’t wanna leave!

Sara Gullah: waaaaah! (cries)

Froggy Gullah: hop!

(Froggy Gullah is wearing an Indiana Jones hat)

Papa Gullah (from the minivan): common guys, L.A.’s just around the corner!

Mama Gullah: don’t lie to the children like that, you KNOW its across a whole ocean.

Papa Gullah: that’s why were’ going to sing a song while we drive through the ocean!

(music starts playing, and Mama Gullah bursts out into a solo)

Mama Gullah: lots of adventures and lesson await while we drive through the ocean-wide ocean! Once we get to a beach in L.A., we’ll run over a surfer or twooooooo-oooooooh!

(music picks up the beat)

Papa Gullah: so lets all say goodbye and get on with our lives! We’ll leave this 8 mile wide multiracial, equal island, and go to a million mile wide city, with racist gangsters everywhere we goooo!

(Papa Gullah gets out of the minivan as he holds the note on “gooo”)

(the children, frog, and mama dance harmoniously with papa at the same time. Papa Gullah opens the sliding minivan door and everyone piles in, except for Mama Gullah, she dances around the van and gets in the passenger seat)

Papa: off we go!

(music ends)

(Papa stops in front of a trailer home)

Garret Gullah: what are we doing here, Papa?

Papa Gullah: I need to get something from my old pal Rod…

(Papa Gullah pulls down the visor and gets a baseball bat)

Papa Gullah: Papa will be right back

Mama Gullah: Papa, give him a good swing for me

Papa Gullah: ok, dear.

(Papa Gullah gets out of the car and walks toward the trailer home)

Garret Gullah: what’s swing?

Mama Gullah: a type of music. Listen.

(pretty soon after Papa goes to the trailer home, you can hear screams and vases shattering)

Garret Gullah: wow! Swing sounds good!

(in a couple minutes Papa Gullah runs out and gets in the minivan)

Papa Gullah: go go go!

(the minivan drives off into the ocean)

(the scene cuts to the minivan driving out of the ocean at Huntington Beach)

(the minivan has seaweed all over it, and as they drive up, they run over a surfer)

Babe (off screen): Charlieeee! —NOOOOOO!!! Whooda thunk he’d be run over by a car in the ocean?

(suddenly lots of people with shotguns ran up to the minivan)

Papa Gullah: oh shit! it’s a gang!

Garret Gullah: what’s a shit?

Mama Gullah: shut the fuck up!

(the guys with shotguns shoot all of them the end. This sucks. I hate Gullah Gullah Island. Good riddance, I’m glad they cancelled that show)

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