Gary’s Tux n’ Shit

(a man, Gary, is sitting cross legged in a chair)


Gary: you’re gonna love the way you look in one of my suits. Each suit is personally tailored by me or one of my thousands of other employees if you’re not making an annual income of over 3 million dollars, or offering sexual pleasure for free for me. Let’s see some of the tuxedos you can get!


(cuts to men in tuxedos walking out in a model show, with flashing lights and people taking pictures for about 2 minutes. It gets really boring because you can’t really tell any difference between the suits, then a fat man in a pink suit walks out, and everyone stops, and you can hear “whaa?” from everybody)


Fat Man in Pink Suit (in a gay voice): hey guys! The directions you gave me were wrong! I had to give a few BJs to get some information on how to get here.


(cuts to Gary in the corner of the room)


Gary: Larry! Go away! You’re ruining my commercial!


Larry: hi Gary!


(Larry waves gay-like at Gary, not listening to what he said)




(Security Guard walks over to Larry and puts his hands to his hips)


Larry: don’t be so silly, I’m the star of the show!


(Larry pets the Security Guards chest, also gayly)


Security Guard: ok, that’s it! Self defense!


(Security Guard pulls out his nightstick and clocks Larry in the chin)


Larry (on the floor): ow! My chin! I use that for oral sex!


Security Guard: shut up!


(Security Guard takes out a handgun and shoots Larry full of lead)

(cuts back to Gary in the room with him sitting on a chair. He has an amazed look on his face and blinks a few times. He looks back at the camera and then smiles like nothing happened)


Gary: so remember, come on down to Gary’s Tux n’ Shit. If you’re wondering about the “shit” part, we sell lots of accessories for your tuxedo, as well as shit! If we didn’t we’d be sued for false advertising…


(Gary gets up and walks away)

(fade out)


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