Secretary: hello there, I’m Betsy Watson and I work for Bad Vacation Agency. Would you like to have an EXTREMELY bad vacation? Or would you like us to forcefully abduct someone and put them on a bad vacation as well? We have a database that can instantly find your worst vacation, according to these “levels” of badness:

 

Mild

Moderate

Annoying

Obnoxious

Bad

Very Bad

Extremely Bad

Jammed In a Closet

And the kind of vacation that’d be exactly like being stuck in Hiroshima at the time of the atomic bomb exploding on your pale assssssssssss!

 

Secretary: yes, that’s right. So call 1-800-I-or-a-friend-of-mine-would-like-to-go-to-hell or just dial 0 and ask for your mom. See you on your worst vacation ever!

 

(secretary waves, and camera focuses out, and you can see people hanging from ropes off the ceilings and chained to the walls)

 

Secretary: no matter what, we’ll STILL have room for you

 

(secretary winks)

(end)