DBC News Broadcast 2

Now top stories with David…

Sports with Davis…

Weather with Daveed…

A few words with Mr. Whatshisname…

and The Special Guest Corner with Binky the Clown!

Now for the top stories……David: 1. The 1st top story today is… that there is no top stories!!!!!! Isn’t that funny??? 2. We have 2 top stories today???? I thought we didn’t have any!!!!

Producer: Why don’t you look at your script?!?!?

David: We have a script???

Daveed: Of course we do you stupid dumbass!!!!!

David: Eh, Shetep

Davis: Shetep…what does that mean??

David: Something you wouldn’t understand dork!!! (note: dork means a whale dick)

Daveed whispering to Davis: Yeah, it’s a nerd mating ritual.

David: I heard that!!!!

Davis: Big whup!!!

David: Eh, go blow it out your ear!!!

Daveed: Why don’t you go blow it out your ass?!!!!!!

Mr. Whatshisname: I’m Egyptian!!!!

Producer: Shut your trap, fiddlesticks!!!!

Mr. Whatshisname: Fiddlesticks… maybe I should change my name to that!!!

Producer: You do that!!!!

Fiddlesticks: Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!

Daveed (mumbling): He’s a little slow.

Binky (mumbling): That’s for sure.

Fiddlesticks: Well, I’m a lot faster than you all are… combined!!!!!!

Davis: Come over here and say that you bitch!!!

Fiddlesticks: Go stick a rubber hose up your nose!!!

Now for the sports…… Davis: Today is the fight of the century!!!! Fiddlesticks vs. Daveed!!!!

Fiddlesticks: I’m Egyptian!!!!

Davis: Unfortunately we won’t be able to cover it because it’s right after the show in the alley back there, and right after that, me, yours truly, will sock Fiddlesticks a couple of times if he wins or loses, so there is no way around it.

David: I’ll soften him up for you a little bit before you do!!!

Now for the Weather… Daveed: In the U.S.A all temperatures are -999999999999999 or below!!!!!

Fiddlesticks: Gee, that must be chilly.

Daveed: Chilly? Chilly? The temperatures are such at an extreme that no one can live with!!!

David: Not even Santa Clause??

Daveed: Not even Santa!!!

David: Not even Vanilla Ice?? Mr. Freeze???

Daveed: No one!!! Even though Mr. Freeze might think that’s all right…

Fiddlesticks: I’m Egyptian!!!

Producer: Yeah sure……………

Fiddlesticks: But…

Producer: But my butt!!!

Now for the Special Guest Corner…… Binky: Now we go behind the scenes in the White House in our hidden cameras in the dining room and the limo.

Bill: Hello, honey.

Hillary: Yeah, Whatever!!!

Bill: What’s for dinner???

Hillary: Why don’t you get off your dead ass and get it yourself!!!!

Bill: But…

Hillary: But what!?

Bill: McDonald’s is too crowded!!!

Hillary: Then go to Burger King!!!!!

Bill: Burger King’s hamburgers are ugly with a capital UG!!!!!!!!!

Hillary: GO!!!!!!

Bill: You can’t tell me what to do I’m the President of the United States!!


(Bill walks to the door moaning and goes out the door.)

Hillary: I don’t know why I married that man!!!!!!

Bill (in limo with 10 hookers): Why couldn’t I marry one of you???

Binky: Uh…right. Well that was interesting. We forgot to put on censor parts, but that’s okay!!! Everybody liked it!!!!!!!!

David: This just in Bill Clinton has died of what Hillary Clinton says what Bill would’ve said of Hamburger ugliness with a capital UG!!!!!

Fiddlesticks: I’m Egyptian!!!

Producer: Let’s see you make a pyramid!!!


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.