Parody of “Gangster’s Paradise” by Coolio

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As I walk to the pub where to get pissed with my mates
I take look at my Kingswood ute and realize it’s a rusty bomb
But that’s just perfect for a yobbo like me
Because it’s has room in the back for slabs of VB
On Friday night I’m watchin’ footy on TV
While drinkin’ VB and eating meat pies… Oi!
And I’ve been a chauvinistic pig for so long that
My wife has divorced me and is now long gone
I’m the bloke of my house, it’s always a mess
Cigarette butts on the floor and beer cans on the couch
I never take a shower nor brush my teeth
I’m 45 years old a living like a pig

We’ve spent most our lives
Living in a yobbos paradise
I get shitfaced at the pub every night
Living in a yobbos paradise
I do some hard yakka once or twice
Living in a yobbos paradise
I live on beer and pies
Living in a yobbos paradise

I’ve been driving my mates around in my ute last week
They were in the back tray with a fews slab of VB
We were heading to the footy, to watch the game
Footy is our religion and the church is the game
I’ve never had a job, I’ve been bludgin’ on the dole
A yobbo in a tuxedo? You know that’s unheard of
I wear a shearers singlet and stubby shorts
And my mates all agree I look cool wearing thongs… Oi!
My backyard dunny is so pongy that you’ll suffocate to tears
I haven’t cleaned the bloody thing in 25 years
We are very uncultured and don’t give a shit
We’re also hygienically impaired

There’s no computer, no widescreen TV, no DVD
Not a single piece of modern technology
Just a 1970s colour TV
To watch the footy and drink a VB

We’ve spent most our lives
Living in a yobbos paradise
My house is infested rats and flies
Living in a yobbos paradise
I hate the new age guys
Living in a yobbo’s paradise
I change my jocks maybe once or twice
Living in a yobbos paradise

Drinkin’ slabs of VB, eating lots of meat pies
I’m growing a beer gut, and I tell lots of lies
Think you’re really lazy? Think you’re a bargearse?
Well, after I shit in the dunny I never wipe my arse
I’m the typical Australian ocker with a thick Aussie accent
Everytime I’m on the piss I go off my rocker
So don’t expect favours from me and don’t put me off
Otherwise I’ll have to tell you to “piss off”

We’ve spent most our lives
Living in a yobbos paradise
I watch footy on TV Friday nights
Living in a yobbos paradise
I mow the lawn maybe once or twice
Living in a yobbos paradise
My hair is full of lice
Living in a yobbos paradise