The Melon Gripe

Melons melons melons. There are so many melons in the world, it’s horrendous: watermelon, cantaloupe, Honeydew Melon. I mean who comes up with these names? I don’t eat Honeydew because its name deceives me into thinking I’m eating honey-flavored rain. And cantaloupe….I don’t even know about that, but I know the majority of it tastes pretty nasty. I didn’t even know there was a u in cantaloupe until I typed this up in Microsoft Word. Thank God for automatic spelling check, huh?


I like watermelon. Artificially flavored things that taste like watermelon! Half the time, watermelon has seeds in it, and it’s always too mushy. I like the really crisp watermelon, like how it is around the rinds. Mmm….rinds. The only time I hate the artificial flavoring is when it tastes like plastic.

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