Holmes: Hey hows life? whats happenin? hows it hanging? whats new? whats up? let me in on the news…

SuperKim: do i know u?

Holmes: i dunno, do you know me?

SuperKim: well who are u? how did u get my s/n

Holmes: I’m a spy from the organization of the Texas can-can dancers

SuperKim: funny

Holmes: we have reason to believe your selling illegal q-tips

SuperKim: kiss my a$$

Holmes: we are asking you to stop before innocent ears get hurt…

SuperKim: fukk u

Holmes: that hurts 🙁

Holmes: I thought you were related to SuperMan in some way but superman has better MANNERS

SuperKim: how do u know did u meet superman???

Holmes: yes, I made him dinner…a kryptonite sandwich with cheese

Holmes: he liked it so much, he fell over like he was havin a seizure

Holmes: have you ever met spiderman?

Holmes: it’s a yes or no question…

SuperKim: fukk u

SuperKim: i dont wanna tlak to you what are u 2

Holmes: where i come from, we speak proper english…

SuperKim: i dont give a shit

Holmes: speakin of givin shit, santa gave me shit for christmas, what did he give you?

Holmes: …i’ll take that as that he gave you nothing

—

2 seconds later, and, gee, I wonder how I knew it was the same person only a diffrent screen name?

—

Smj: hi

Holmes: hello

Smj: wutz up

Holmes: o you know…

Smj: ….?

Holmes: come on you know whats up…

Smj: umm

Holmes: yeah you know….come on…you know…

Smj: ew?

Smj: how old r u?

Holmes: 99 years old and growing

Smj: loFl

Smj: no really

Smj: how old r u???

Holmes: you first

Smj: 17u?

Holmes: i forgot..

Smj: just tell me

Holmes: what if your some stalker

Smj: NOPE IM NOT

Smj: WHO R U ANYWAYZ?

Smj: HOW DID YOU GET SUPERKIM’Z SN?

Holmes: my mommy said I should never ever give out: my age or name or that she beats me on the internet

Smj: umm ok

Smj: your gay

Holmes: I know magical powers

Smj: bye

Holmes: wait

Holmes: i’ll tell you

Smj: wut?

Smj: fine then tell me

Smj: right now!

Smj: hurry hurry!

Holmes: it’s a magic power called: “People Directory”

Smj: o

Smj: well how old ru?

Holmes: it works in mysterious ways….

Holmes: 16

Smj: o wel im not really 17…

Holmes: OOOOOOOOOO YOUR A LIAR JUST LIKE AL GORE

Smj: loFl

Smj: im 34

Smj: jk jk

Holmes: jk? is that some new slang term

Smj: your gay dude

Smj: bye

Holmes: 🙁

Holmes: i’ll never sleep again 🙁

Smj: o wut a shame 🙁

Smj: i dont care

Holmes: you got a big poop-colored heart

Smj: ok

Smj: fine then ill talk to u….

Smj: umm…..

Smj: where r u from?

Holmes: …uh…Connectituctst or however it’s spelled

Smj: u dont even know how to spell where your from?

Smj: damn you must be rrreally stupid

Smj: you mean connecticut?

Holmes: yeah thats it it had somethin with connect in it

Holmes: don’t make fun of stupid people, it only makes them stupider…my dad taught me that

Smj: your corny

Holmes: i like corn…

Smj: or korn?

Holmes: hmm yeah

Holmes: where I come from it’s spelled with a C not a K

Smj: i meant the band you schmuck

Holmes: OH the band, yeah korn is cool

Holmes: whats a schitmuck?

Smj: i didnt say shitmuck

Smj: shmuck

Smj: sound it out now

Holmes: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh muccccccckkkk

Smj: good job

Holmes: do I get a A +?

Smj: nah

Holmes: awwww

Smj: r u really 16?

Holmes: yup

Smj: sure bout that?

Holmes: uh hold on, let me check my birthday cards…

Smj: ok do you have a pic?

Holmes: yeah it says: Congrats, your 16

Holmes: nope scanner = busted

Smj: ooo

Holmes: i just have the mentallity of a 6 year old, kind of like that movie Jack with Robin Williams

Smj: ha

Holmes: only i have more sexy looks then he does

Smj: suuure

Holmes: fine don’t believe the sexy man

Smj: fine iwont

Holmes: fine

Smj: wut were you sayin to superkim?

Smj: fine

Holmes: uh some stupid stuff

Smj: llike wut?

Holmes: like i’m suppose to remeber?

Smj: uh huh

Smj: and it’z “supposed to” not suppose

Holmes: sorry i didn’t know it was english class

Smj: thatz ok

Holmes: so, miss teacher can I go to the bathroom? I gotta tinkie..

Smj: nah kid

Smj: sorry

Holmes: i’m about to tinkie on the floor if i don’t go

Smj: o well

Smj: not my floor

Holmes: well I gotsta poop too, so there better be room on the floor

Smj: ew you nasty

Smj: shut up about the fucken shit and piss thing ok>???

Holmes: you brought it up

Smj: no u did

Holmes: no

Smj: yes

Holmes: no

Smj: anywayz…

Holmes: anywayz no

Smj: wut kind of music do you like?

Smj: fine then bye